August 2006 - Monthly Archive

Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

20 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4066

Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

Your favorite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."The parts that have arthritis are the parts where you feel best.A big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills.... read more..

20 Aug

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3455

Our Blessed Hope

It’s sad that when the topic of Jesus’ second coming comes up so many jump on the timeline bandwagon. When they do too often what His return really means to us get’s lost in the dus... read more..

19 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2195

Cursor Annoyance

When you were little did you every have an elderly relative (ah, sweet memories of family holiday vacations) tweak your nose and claim to have it in their hand? Has a cat ever gotten your tongue? ... read more..

19 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2149

Hairy Eyeballs

Remember that look you would get whenever whoever raised you saw you misbehave in a crowded room? You know, the hairy eyeball! It may have looked like the eyes below. Have some fun read more..

19 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2269

Elastic Walker

I have not always had the best balance. This wasn't a problem when I was young because everyone expects you to fall when your age is in the single digits. But now that I am in my 5th decade . . . we... read more..

19 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2254

Ink Fun

Do you remember those ink blot sheets the district school nurse always showed you when you were suspended from school for being so disruptive in class? No? Maybe that was just me - but t read more..

19 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4468

$4,000 Hearing

An elderly man inquired of his wife about a recent, large expense."Well yes I bought this new hearing aid, dear." his wife replied."How much did it cost, dear?," he asked."Four thousand dollars," she ... read more..

19 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2823

A Good Haircut

Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went on to extol the virtues of a good haircut, which, he insisted, makes an elderly man look younger and a younger ... read more..

19 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2167

Like-Better Brain

Do you know anyone who constantly stereotypes other people? I do too. People who stereotype others are all the same! Well, someone has been doing some stereotyping and they are ofte read more..

19 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2271

Transparent Desktops

With a little imagination, a camera, some photo editing software (like Picasa), and too much time on your hands - you too can create a transparent image for your computer screen. In fact, why n read more..

18 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3709

Three Legged Chicken

A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken wa read more..

17 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7267

Confession

A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of pride.She said, "When I look in the mirror, I think I am beautiful."The priest said, "That's ... read more..

17 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2889

Car Moving

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin snow plowing."Twenty minute... read more..

17 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

3061

Stare Down Sally

Here's a game that guarantees there won't be a dry eye in the house. It's just too bad that Sally has such freaky eyes - although that might be part of her strategy. If she keeps staring like that ... read more..

16 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4589

Muddy General

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel."Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieu... read more..

15 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4199

Paid For Standing

The owner of a manufacturing firm decided to make a surprise tour of the factory. Walking through the warehouse he noticed a young man lazily leaning against a packing crate.The factory owner an... read more..

15 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2707

What's Good Tonight?

Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to handle the customer who asks, "What's good tonight?"Obviously, we would never serve anything we didn't think was goo... read more..

14 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2535

Ballbot Robot

Oh James! Get me my slippers. James. James? Man, good help is hard to find. I can hardly wait for the day when robots help out around the house and work. Ma read more..

14 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4020

Too Late To Date

An elderly woman died last month.Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while ... read more..

14 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3233

Coin Test

During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?""No, sir," a student called out."... read more..

13 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4197

Meteor Miss

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system."Coming up on the right, yo... read more..

13 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4040

Rest Stop

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flig... read more..

13 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4251

Pardon My Yiddish, but...

One night recently I was sipping a sugar-free Kool-Aid while watching TV while reading a book, which is my normal activity. With the state of TV these days, I can read all of William Shakespeare&# read more..

13 Aug

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3576

Just Wait

The Grace of God teaches us to wait for Jesus. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060813.mp3{/audio}... read more..

12 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2540

Staplers

There are few things more beautiful than a favorite paper stapler. Ok there are a lot of things more beautiful than a favorite stapler or any other kind of office equipment (though to be hones read more..

12 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4481

Latin Lesson

"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)"Domino vobiscum."(The pizza guy's h read more..

12 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2986

What Happened

"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed."Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up read more..

11 Aug

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2324

Amusement Park Physics

Here's a fun site that gives you insight and knowledge into the physics behind amusement parks. When I was young(er) and in high school, I didn't really see how important physics was to read more..

11 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4314

The Big Sale

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local paper were the main reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's open... read more..

11 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2799

Bunyan Fall

My son, Bunyan, is a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing to break his fall by grabbing on to parts of the scaffold on the way down. He received only minor scratches.Emba... read more..