2016 - Monthly Archive

30 Nov

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2519

Quote #1592

"What! Get to Heaven on your own strength? You might as well try to climb to the moon on a rope of sand!" - George Whitefield read more..

30 Nov

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

12015

Republicans vs. Democrats at Christmas

I, Pastor Tim, (neither Republican nor Democrat) warn you now that if you are either (or both) and cannot laugh at yourself, you should just delete this now. Image used with permission by DragonArt... read more..

30 Nov

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1575

Classical Chicken

Beethoven got rid of his chickens, because the only thing they ever said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"... read more..

30 Nov

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2169

In His Hands

"In His Hands" We know not what tomorrow brings although we plan ahead For only God alone can know the pathway we must tread. We cannot know the future - not one minute nor one hour - Ea read more..

30 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3453

Tie Conspiracy

At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband's sports jackets. Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a r... read more..

29 Nov

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1315

One-liner #1144

Regarding "Eternal Truths:" No matter where you go, there you are.... read more..

27 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1676

The Only Contest I Really Win Each Year

Between now and the end of the year our house is going to be a mad dash for the stores in preparation for Christmas. This time of the year, I lay low and try to be as invisible as possible. If I hide... read more..

27 Nov

Clean Jokes

3578

Learned From a Snowman

"All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " --It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy. --Hold your ground, even when the heat is on. --Wearing white is always appropriate. --Wi read more..

27 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1011

Cybersalt News - November 27, 2016

First Sunday of advent greetings everyone. Today's mailing is an abbreviated one after spending a wonderful day with friends from across the pond - in this case they live 17 miles away on the Olympi read more..

24 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1002

Cybersalt News - November 24, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - enjoy your turkey too! Today's new funny picture on the Cybersalt Site shows not all architects and designers have disability rights at the forefront of their plans. You w... read more..

23 Nov

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1570

Passive Exercise

I don't go to the gym; I like for things to work themselves out.... read more..

23 Nov

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

3232

Wheelchair Ramp

Three steps forward for disability rights! ... read more..

23 Nov

Quotes

Pastor Tim

3419

Quote #1591

"Don't allow what has been done to you to become bigger than what Jesus did for you." - TobyMac #SpeakLife read more..

23 Nov

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1378

One-liner #1143

My kids can't find their shoes when they need them, yet they can find that tiny bit of onion in their dinner.... read more..

23 Nov

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

7209

Turkey Confession

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?" "Certainly not," ... read more..

23 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7284

6 Legged Turkey

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After... read more..

Forgive us Our Debts as We Forgive - The Lord's Prayer

20 Nov

Sermons

Pastor Tim

952

Forgive us Our Debts as We Forgive - The Lord's Prayer

The Lord's prayer teaches us to face the need and issues of forgiveness at ground zero: our relationship with God. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20161120.mp3{/audio} read more..

20 Nov

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2641

Thankfulness, Thanksgiving

He was a good man but a bit stingy. He would bargain and haggle on a price, never paying the price asked. He especially hated paying his medical fees. One day, while eating fish, a bone became lodged... read more..

20 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3956

Turkey Size

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, ... read more..

20 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1003

Cybersalt News - November 20, 2016

Sunday greetings everyone - and since this is the last mailing going out before US Thanksgiving - Happy Thanksgiving to our American subscribers. With US Thanksgiving coming up, today's news is super... read more..

19 Nov

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2174

Cutting a Turkey with a Waterjet

Here's a very unique way to carve your Thanksgiving or Christmas turkey! ... read more..

19 Nov

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

4520

Turkey Stuffing

You've heard of the turducken. . . .meet the turkraken. ... read more..

Thanksgiving Quandary: Roast Turkey or Lame Duck

19 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3917

Thanksgiving Quandary: Roast Turkey or Lame Duck

My father used to tell me anything worth doing was worth doing right the first time. If you have time to do it the second time, you have time to do it right the first time. As fathers go, he was righ... read more..

17 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

994

Cybersalt News - November 17, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's new funny sign picture on the Cybersalt Site shows the logical outcome of screaming for ice cream. You will find "I Scream for Ice Cream" at:www.cybersalt.org... read more..

17 Nov

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3534

You Might Be a Nurse If

You might be a nurse if... ~ You avoid unhealthy looking people in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off. ~ It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar ... read more..

16 Nov

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2091

Quote #1590

"A small leak will sink a great ship. A small spark will kindle a great fire. A little allowed sin will ruin an immortal soul." - J.C. Ryle read more..

16 Nov

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1652

Travelling Suit

A man who sued an airline because his luggage went missing ... has lost his case.... read more..

16 Nov

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1611

One-liner #1142

My boss said, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have;" now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.... read more..

16 Nov

Funny Signs

Pastor Tim

4020

I Scream for Ice Cream

The real truth behind the saying. ... read more..

16 Nov

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2387

Eternity

I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insura... read more..