The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades.
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A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you." The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off to the Middle East.
Three months later they returned home and were met by the wealthy parishioner, who told them that while they were gone, he had had a new church built. "It's the finest building money can buy, vicar," said the man. "No expense was spared." And he was right. It was a magnificent edifice both outside and in.
But there was one striking difference. There was only one pew, and it was at the very back. "A church with only one pew?" asked the vicar.
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Morris had long suspected that his hearing wasn't quite what it used to be. Friends often had to repeat themselves, and he found himself nodding along to conversations he could barely follow. It was time, he realised, to invest in a hearing aid. However, Morris, known for his frugality, was reluctant to part with a substantial sum of money. Determined to find a bargain, he headed to the local hearing aid store.
Upon entering the store, Morris was greeted by a friendly salesperson. "How much do they cost?" he inquired, hoping for a modest price tag. The salesperson, with a knowing smile, replied, "That depends. They run from $2.00 to $2,000." Morris, ever the penny-pincher, was intrigued by the mention of a $2.00 model. "Let's see the $2.00 model," he said, his curiosity piqued.
The salesperson, amused by Morris's request, obliged by presenting the budget model. He carefully placed the device around Morris' neck and explained, "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket." Morris examined the contraption, unsure of its effectiveness. "How does it work?" he asked.
With a twinkle in his eye, the salesperson answered, "For $2.00 it doesn't work. But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"
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I'm not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it's not twenty seven.
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