1. When something is "new and improved." Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

2. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." What good is a stupid cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

3. When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

4. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?" No, I paid good money to come to the theatre and stare at that thing over there. What did you come here for?

5. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?