Monthly Archive - Results from #13350

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2491

Son Pun

The conservative businessman got on the elevator and curtly asked the bellboy to take him to the 18th floor.When he arrived the young operator said, "Here you are, son!""How dare you call me son!?!" e... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4630

Songs For Bible Characters

*The Songs For Bible Characters*Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"Esther: "I Feel Pretty"Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7232

Soup Pun

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed."Good night!," he said, "What is this?""Why, it's bean soup," she replied."I don't care ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2191

Space News

"I have just learned that we do have the film of the astronauts' breakfast, which should be coming up shortly."- Frank McGee of NBC News during the course of a Gemini space flight. read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1769

Specialty Store

I was travelling to Seattle on business. Knowing how the weather is up there (and lacking the proper clothing), I went to a local outdoor shop for a inclement weather clothing. Not finding what I wa... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2208

Speeding

The state trooper pulled Dr. Schwartz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail. "What's the charge? Dr. Sch... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1992

Spoiled

Too many clicks spoil the browse.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9090

Spooky Puns

Q: What is Frankenstein's favorite waterway?A: The Eerie Canal.Q: What is a ghosts favorite ride at the midway?A: A roller ghoster!!Q: Why does the Mummy keep his Band-aids in the refrigerator?A: He w... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1874

St. Andreas

One of the more important of the Patron Saints is St. Andreas (in Spanish - San Andreas)... The patron saint of generosity.In fact, people say he was generous to a fault.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9102

Stained Glass

A young minister was filling in for Norman Vincent Peal at Marblegate Cathedral. Ascending the pulpit he looked at the magnificent colored glass windows and told the congregation: "You know, these bea... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1792

Stallions

Two show stallions are arguing over who should take best of breed.The first says, "I'll grant you are the closest I have ever seen to my equal, but my legs are just a bit straighter than yours, and, y... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1822

Star Wars Eating

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Obi-Wan is deftly manipulating his chopsticks with the ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master.Anyway, poor old Luke is having a hard time, usi... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5051

Stationary

"No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3048

Statistic Pun

More than five million American women are overweight. These, of course, are round figures.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1880

Statue Discovery

Two archeologists, exploring a remote mountain in Tibet came across a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. It stood almost 400 foot tall, and its bodily details were accurate down to the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6004

Stereo Speaker

"One of my stereo's speakers is out," said Tom monotonously. read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9019

Stock Market Pun

It's not just the stock market that's been telegraphing "trouble" about the economy. The price of thoroughbreds has matched Wall Street's gyrations. Yearlings that sold for an average of $27,295 in ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2359

Stocking Purchase

Walking into a lingerie store, a customer says to the clerk, "I'd like to buy a pair of stockings for my wife."The clerk asks, "Sheer?"The man replies "No. She's in another store."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1948

Stocks

An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?" To which a small voice from the back of the room responded: "The small inves... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

14343

Stone Statue

I couldn't believe that the statue was not made of stone. Next time, I won't take a work of art for granite.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6040

Stopping Pun

I had given our daughter, who was 14 at the time, a drivers manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9559

Strawberry Pun

A guy walks into a doctor's office with a strawberry growing out of his head.The doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4290

Strike Pun

The workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2135

Student Pun

The other day I saw school students applying cosmetics. They were taking a makeup test.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1914

Sugar Pig

Ben: One of our pigs was sick so I gave him some sugar.Dan: Sugar! What for?Ben: Haven't you ever heard of sugar-cured ham?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1707

Suit Purchase

He said he bought his suit for a ridiculous price.The truth is, he bought it for an absurd figure.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3373

Sun Pun

Did you hear about the goober who stayed up all night wondering where the sun went?It finally dawned on him.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4843

Sunbathing Pun

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2395

Sunday School Pun

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question."Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air."He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy."Really?! How do you know?"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13217

Sunrise

One morning a man got up early to watch the sun rise.As he sat in the dark it suddenly dawned on him!... read more..