Monthly Archive

"A stitch in time would have confused Einstein." read more..

"Accomplishing the impossible only means the boss will add it to your regular duties." read more..

"According to the Academy of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10." read more..

"Actually if ya think about it, you really don't need a whole lot of manners if you're driving a 35 ton truck." read more..

"After years of uneventfully ordering a side of bacon with breakfast, you can image my surprise at the side of beef I ordered last night for dinner."- Scott E. Frank read more..

"All good One-liners are one character too lon" read more..

"All the world loves a lover - except people who are waiting to use the phone."- Milton Berle read more..

"Always keep several get well cards on the mantle - if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean." read more..

"Amazing - you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!" read more..

"Among the English language's many puzzling words is 'economy' which means the large size in toothpaste and the small size in automobiles." read more..

"An employer is someone who is late when you're early and early when you're late." read more..

"Anarchy is better than no government at all." read more..

"Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone - that's actually what caused many of their deaths ... pillow fights." read more..

"Anytime you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong." read more..

"Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy?" read more..

"Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?" read more..

"As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with." read more..

"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing." read more..

"As a teenager you are in the last stage of life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."~Fran Lebowitz read more..

"As I said before, I never repeat myself." read more..

"Ask me about my vow of silence." read more..

"Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups." read more..

"At my age, forget all the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get!" read more..

"At my age, I can't see the forest OR the trees." read more..

"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all." read more..

"At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying." read more..

"Ba-dee, ba-dee, ba-dee . . . . .that's all folks."- Porky Pig read more..

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."~ Mark Twain read more..

"Be different; Conform." read more..

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."~Will Rogers read more..