Monthly Archive

"The other day I nearly succumbed to a bout of narcissism: seriously, I just don't know what's come over me, me, me, me." read more..

"The police have stopped my husband so many times for speeding, they decided to just give him a season ticket." read more..

"The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed." read more..

"The sandwich dates back to the time man discovered he could not live bybread alone." read more..

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."- George Burns read more..

"The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office."~Will Rogers read more..

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."- Calvin and Hobbes - Bill Watterson read more..

"The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money."- David Richerby read more..

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was." read more..

"The trouble with eating at an all-you-can-eat restaurant is that five or six days later you're hungry again." read more..

"The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!" read more..

"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down." read more..

"The world's full of apathy, but I don't care." read more..

"The worst thing about censorship is ****** ** ********!" read more..

"There are 10 types of people in the world; those that understand binary, and those that don't." read more..

"There are more important things in life than money but they won't go out with you if you're broke." read more..

"There aren't enough days in the weekend."~ Steven Wright read more..

"There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year." read more..

"There's only two more days to procrastinate before Christmas." read more..

"There's too much blood in my caffeine system." read more..

"They have Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now - you call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers." read more..

"They say kids brighten the home - that's because they never turn the lights off." read more..

"Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once." read more..

"Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician." read more..

"To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!" read more..

"To prevent sagging skin eat 'til the wrinkles fill out." read more..

"To vacillate or not to vacillate - that is the question...or is it?" read more..

"Today I went to buy a toaster and was given a bank as a free gift." read more..

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life but so was yesterday and look how you messed that up." read more..

"Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income." read more..