Monthly Archive

September 2004
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 57 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.

Joshua Goodling
Joshua Goodling
6424
3 min read

Acts Of Kindness

Despite his busy schedule during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln often visited the hospitals to cheer the wounded. On one occasion he saw a young fellow who was near death. ?Is there anything I can do ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4284

100 GB

Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug. As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3451

How's My Driving?

I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it.At 50 cents a call, I've ... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
4305
3 min read

Looking For A Spiritual Switch

I had to flick that tiny switch on the wall this morning. The one we here in Alberta forget about for a few months, from June to August, if we're lucky - the thermostat ? that wonderful regulator of read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3423
3 min read

Travel Agent Stories

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents :1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.2. A client called in inquiring ab... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3803
9 min read

Midnight for Jeremiah

Jeremiah 32:1-15 June 18, 1940. Winston Churchill stands in the British Parliament to address his country and its government. France had fallen to Hitler and the British expeditionary forces narrowly... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5036
2 min read

Hickbonics

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or "Hickbonics," as a language to be tau... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2985

Car Names Explained

"Car Names Explained"(My car is in here so don't be offended if yours is too!)AUDI - Always Unsafe Designs ImplementedBMW - Big Money WorksBought My WifeBrutal Money WasterBreak My WindowBUICK - Big U read more..

Hall of Flames
Pastor Tim
8521
3 min read

Pastor Tim Is An Idiot

In response to the funny picture I posted at:https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images/04/grandmaslots.htmThe following entry was submitted to my guestbook (I've used their initials so they don&... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
4295
2 min read

After The Storms

"I will protect those who trust in my name. When theycall on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will satisfy them with a long life and give them my salvation."Psalm 91:14-16 (NL read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3941
7 min read

Chicken Answers

Before you get to today’s supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number 2,211), I want to mention that today is the 6th anniversary of the CleanLaugh list. That’s right; September 28, 19... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3523

Herd Of Cows

A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho," and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation:"Say, look at that big... read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
4256
4 min read

Confessions of a Chocoholic!

I am a chocoholic. I know it, my friends know it, now YOU know it--and Choco Anonymous should be very happy with my complete confession. I've taken the first step on the road to recovery! OK, if you R... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
5392
3 min read

Frightening Facts and A Note of Hope

Driving long distances alone has never been my favourite thing to do, but sometimes it has its benefits. I can sit alone with my own thoughts, giving me time to sort out things that have been on my read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3581

Singing Practice

Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would h... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
5335
3 min read

Wise or Compromise?

Proverbs 10:8 The wise in heart will receive commandments: but a prating fool shall fall.Proverbs 19:20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. Isaiah read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5524
2 min read

Y1K

Canterbury, England.  AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout Europe as the millennial year 1000 approaches, bringing with it the so-called "Y1K Bug," a menace which, unti... read more..

Sandra Boyte
Pastor Tim
7897

Shattered

It was only a handmade trinket,With little beauty or worth.Still, the proudest gift she had givenIn her five years upon the earth.When her dad, in terrible anger,Destroyed her work of artIn blindness,... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5492
3 min read

10 Puns

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. Two boll weevils grew up in South C... read more..

Cybersalt Shaker
Pastor Tim
5825
2 min read

Say Hello To Nobody

The elders of our church recently had to ask someone to no longer attend Westside Bible Church. This person's name?  - 'someone Else.? Recently too many people at our church have been counting o... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3474

Unwritten Warning Labels

*Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advi read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
7219
5 min read

Make Hay While the Sun Shines

Luke 16:1-13 When I was a boy of about ten, there was a television show I loved to watch. It starred Phil Silvers and was about a lovable rascal called Sgt. Bilko. He was a motor pool sergeant who al... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3442

Quick Proposal

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit a... read more..

Joshua Goodling
Joshua Goodling
5751
3 min read

Pay It Forward

I don't know if you've seen the movie entitled "Pay it Forward". It was produced in 1998, and told the story of a boy who when challenged by his history teacher to come up with an idea that would "cha... read more..

Peggie's Den
Pastor Tim
4994
6 min read

Ruler Of My Heart

A Hurting Word... It was a "precious moment!" Our four-year-old son Joey had just knelt with Mom and asked Jesus to come into his heart. Picking up his little t-shirt, he looked down at the "appropr... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3199

Burning Call

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. "What happened, honey?" the man asks."Oh, John, it was terrible," she weeps. "I was cooking,... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
6196
1 min read

Grandparent's Day

 "They and their children and their grandchildren after them will live there forever? I will make my home among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Ezekiel 37:25,27 (NLT) T read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3395

Sore Mover

Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture."Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked."I could," my mother told the group,"... read more..

Sandra Boyte
Pastor Tim
7628

Return

Don't give away your blessingsBy the way you choose to live.Don't throw away your richesBy the way in which you give.As you cast upon the waterSo it will return to you.And as you share with others,God... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3168

Maid Mother

For all their lives, my three sons have been told they have to do their chores around the house. "I am NOT the maid" is a phrase they've heard many times. When my oldest went off to college, he call... read more..

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