September 2004 - Monthly Archive

30 Sep

Joshua Goodling

6321

Acts Of Kindness

Despite his busy schedule during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln often visited the hospitals to cheer the wounded. On one occasion he saw a young fellow who was near death. ?Is there anything I can do ... read more..

30 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4183

100 GB

Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug. As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold... read more..

30 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3374

How's My Driving?

I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it.At 50 cents a call, I've ... read more..

29 Sep

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4201

Looking For A Spiritual Switch

I had to flick that tiny switch on the wall this morning. The one we here in Alberta forget about for a few months, from June to August, if we're lucky - the thermostat ? that wonderful regulator of read more..

29 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4507

The Points System

For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something ... read more..

29 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3318

Travel Agent Stories

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents :1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.2. A client called in inquiring ab... read more..

28 Sep

Dr. Harold McNabb

3697

Midnight for Jeremiah

Jeremiah 32:1-15 June 18, 1940. Winston Churchill stands in the British Parliament to address his country and its government. France had fallen to Hitler and the British expeditionary forces narrowly... read more..

28 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4923

Hickbonics

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or "Hickbonics," as a language to be tau... read more..

28 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2897

Car Names Explained

"Car Names Explained"(My car is in here so don't be offended if yours is too!)AUDI - Always Unsafe Designs ImplementedBMW - Big Money WorksBought My WifeBrutal Money WasterBreak My WindowBUICK - Big U read more..

28 Sep

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

8409

Pastor Tim Is An Idiot

In response to the funny picture I posted at:https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images/04/grandmaslots.htmThe following entry was submitted to my guestbook (I've used their initials so they don&... read more..

27 Sep

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4198

After The Storms

"I will protect those who trust in my name. When theycall on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will satisfy them with a long life and give them my salvation."Psalm 91:14-16 (NL read more..

27 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5340

B.O.O.K.

Introducing the Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge software: B.O.O.K. BOOK is a revolutionary technological breakthrough: no wires, no electric currents, no batteries. Nothing to be connected or sw... read more..

27 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3831

Chicken Answers

Before you get to today’s supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number 2,211), I want to mention that today is the 6th anniversary of the CleanLaugh list. That’s right; September 28, 19... read more..

26 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3426

Herd Of Cows

A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho," and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation:"Say, look at that big... read more..

25 Sep

Peggie's Den

Pastor Tim

4162

Confessions of a Chocoholic!

I am a chocoholic. I know it, my friends know it, now YOU know it--and Choco Anonymous should be very happy with my complete confession. I've taken the first step on the road to recovery! OK, if you R... read more..

25 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5586

Lion Tamer

A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous... read more..

24 Sep

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

5285

Frightening Facts and A Note of Hope

Driving long distances alone has never been my favourite thing to do, but sometimes it has its benefits. I can sit alone with my own thoughts, giving me time to sort out things that have been on my read more..

24 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

13975

Country Boys

These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a cou... read more..

24 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3495

Singing Practice

Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would h... read more..

23 Sep

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

5233

Wise or Compromise?

Proverbs 10:8 The wise in heart will receive commandments: but a prating fool shall fall.Proverbs 19:20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. Isaiah read more..

23 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5419

Y1K

Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout Europe as the millennial year 1000 approaches, bringing with it the so-called "Y1K Bug," a menace which, unti... read more..

23 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

11637

Vicar's Surprise

A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you". The vicar accepted the o... read more..

22 Sep

Sandra Boyte

Pastor Tim

7800

Shattered

It was only a handmade trinket,With little beauty or worth.Still, the proudest gift she had givenIn her five years upon the earth.When her dad, in terrible anger,Destroyed her work of artIn blindness,... read more..

22 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5379

10 Puns

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. Two boll weevils grew up in South C... read more..

21 Sep

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

5722

Say Hello To Nobody

The elders of our church recently had to ask someone to no longer attend Westside Bible Church. This person's name? - 'someone Else.? Recently too many people at our church have been counting o... read more..

21 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6573

Someone Is Knocking

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door e... read more..

21 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3376

Unwritten Warning Labels

*Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advi read more..

20 Sep

Dr. Harold McNabb

7104

Make Hay While the Sun Shines

Luke 16:1-13 When I was a boy of about ten, there was a television show I loved to watch. It starred Phil Silvers and was about a lovable rascal called Sgt. Bilko. He was a motor pool sergeant who al... read more..

20 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5550

Speeding Juggler

A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously. "I'm a ... read more..

20 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3349

Quick Proposal

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit a... read more..