November 2004 - Monthly Archive

18 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3100

Aerobic Dismay

Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor."I'm here t... read more..

17 Nov

Dr. Harold McNabb

4063

The Rockies May Crumble

Luke 21: 5-19It wasn't that long ago that scientific theories for most natural phenomena were founded on a theory of "gradualism". That's not the name, but reflected our views of the natural... read more..

17 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4636

Owed to Spell Checquer

OWED TO SPELL CHECQUER Eye halve a spelling chequerIt came with my pea seaIt plainly marques four my revueMiss steaks eye kin knot sea.Eye strike a key and type a wordAnd weight four it two sayWeathe... read more..

17 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3055

Chicken Farming

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns... read more..

16 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4761

A Job Worse Than Yours

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness, requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a Cal pharmacologist developed a suppos... read more..

16 Nov

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4792

Jimmie Johnson Wins Again

"We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ? Our only power and success come from Him." I Corinthians 3:4,5 (NLT) Under the lights for the first time, Jimmie Johnson read more..

16 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3032

Card Reader

"Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny."My mother can," Danny replied."Really?""Yes," Danny told her, "she takes one look at my report card and can tell me exactly what will h read more..

15 Nov

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4109

In A State Of Frenzy

Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."We are living in the fast lane, folks; no doubt about it! Roads we used to travel a... read more..

14 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3602

The Illusive Art of Catching Up

Is it just me, or do others have trouble catching up? Just when it looks like I'm almost caught up with some project or my to-do-list, something happens setting me back a few paces. One step forward, ... read more..

13 Nov

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

2910

Walk Into The SONshine!

A Hurting Word... The theme of my life these days is "Run, Peggie, Run!"--like all moms who do taxi service for kids, run errands, attend appointments, and--well, if you're a mom, I nee... read more..

11 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4004

Kids In Church

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough."You're not supposed to talk... read more..

10 Nov

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3092

A Long List of Fools

Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His work must be contemplated with respect. - Mark Twain, a Biography Mark Twain was in good company. There have been scores ... read more..

10 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4031

The English Language

Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the hamburgerAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.English muffins were not invented in EnglandFrench fries were... read more..

10 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2600

Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

*Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?3. Why doesn't the government do something ab read more..

09 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4185

Haiku Error Messages

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95,... read more..

09 Nov

Dr. Harold McNabb

3176

Standing On the Promises

2 Thessalonians 2:13-17In the 2002 winter Olympics, the Canadian men's team won the gold medal in the speed skating relay. The two strongest competitors were the US team and the team from Canada. The read more..

09 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2749

Goodbye From George

George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and Testament."To my dear wife Mary, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry... read more..

Grandpa always said, 'The Devil Is In De Tales

08 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3647

Grandpa always said, 'The Devil Is In De Tales

"When in polite society," my grandfather opined, "never talk about religion or politics." Then he would dismiss himself from said "polite society" and talk about nothing read more..

08 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2773

Special Message

"Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in for you from the admiral. I have it right here.""Read it to me," the captain ordered.The sailor read, "You are read more..

07 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4299

New Axioms of the Nineties

New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.4. You can't teach a ne... read more..

07 Nov

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

2948

Weary Warrior!

A Hurting Word... I love words--and "weary" is a good one! It describes exactly how I feel tonight--and maybe you agree 'cause you're worn out too! Well, let's move, with whatever energ... read more..

07 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3057

Older Parents

We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is the joy of my husband's life, but he is self-conscious about being an older father. He likes to jokingly tell... read more..

06 Nov

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3788

Stay Ready

'Stay ready to go, for today may be your last'. Those are words we don't like to hear, but they are true. None of us are guaranteed another day of life on this earth as we know it. It could be an acci read more..

06 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4188

Carjacking Foiled

TRUE STORY:Carjacking Foiled:An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car.She Dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of he... read more..

06 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2782

Four Little Words

Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone sp... read more..

Where Do Politicians Come From and Can They Be Returned?

05 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3897

Where Do Politicians Come From and Can They Be Returned?

I had a dream the other night. Dream nothing, it was a nightmare, if you must know the truth. Normally I don't put too much stock in dreams ? or ? nightmares, as the case may be, but this was differen... read more..

05 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4603

Dayvorce

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney asked, "May I help you?"The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."The attor... read more..

Another Try - Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say

05 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2713

Another Try - Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say

Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say...20. You know, when you build your next house you might want to consider using steel instead of wood.19. It's a shame you didn't get that extended... read more..

04 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4476

Two Plus Two

A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"The mathematician replies &qu... read more..

04 Nov

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

2977

How Can God Expect So Much?

The process of writing a novel is exciting but labour-intensive. When I finished the first draft of my book, I was elated ? for about five seconds. Then it dawned on me how much work was still ahead. ... read more..