Monthly Archive

2004

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 418 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.

Great Accomplishments And a Ticket into Heaven

20 Oct

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3625

3 min read

Great Accomplishments And a Ticket into Heaven

My daughter recently worked on a school project and as usual when that is going on, I became aware of the subject. She was using my computer to access information online and then rented a video to tak... read more..

20 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

13196

Speeding Hymns

If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take Care of Me"at 55 mph.... "Guide me, O Great Jehovah"at 65 mph.... "Nearer My God to Thee"at 75 mph.... "Neare... read more..

19 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4602

Caught Sleeping

Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of these excuses.*********************************They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.This is just a... read more..

19 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4112

Appendix Worry

Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was appendicitis. Mrs. Johnson explained that the appendix is on the right."So, aha! THAT's why it hurts to much... read more..

18 Oct

Dr. Harold McNabb

3429

8 min read

Persistent in the Pursuit of Justice

Luke 18:1-8When I was doing marriage and family counseling I would often have a husband or wife--most often a husband--who would walk in visibly angry at the first visit. I always found that stimulati... read more..

18 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

8908

Principal Rounds

It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seeme... read more..

Of Course It's Raining, I Just Washed My Car

17 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

7498

4 min read

Of Course It's Raining, I Just Washed My Car

Nobody can say I didn't warn the Mistress of the Parsonage, for all the good my warning did. And, I'm not one to say, "I told you so," but, "I told you so." I swear, at times I think my wife thinks ... read more..

17 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4668

More Musings

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.If you can't convince them, confuse them.Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!I couldn't repa... read more..

17 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3277

Football Sleep

After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the morning."It's twenty to seven," she called."In who's favor?... read more..

16 Oct

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

3979

2 min read

River Of Life

"And the angel showed me a pure river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God."Rev. 22:1 (NLT)Fall, in all its glorious opulence, is what we experienced read more..

16 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3283

Buying Shoes

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk."Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at ... read more..

Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support

15 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4262

Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support

1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"2. In layman's term, we call that the "Hindenburg Effect."3. "Your problem can be fixed, but you're going to need a butter knife read more..

The Three Conjunctions of Life - If, And, But

15 Oct

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3685

3 min read

The Three Conjunctions of Life - If, And, But

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their read more..

15 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2974

Vacation Term Translation

*Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation spot, be aware of the following advertising lingo...Old world charm = No bathTropical = RainyMajestic setting read more..

14 Oct

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3427

3 min read

Filling In The Blank

"He/she was born to ........" (fill in the blank with the appropriate words). It might be any number of things ? run, sing, play hockey, write poetry, act on a stage, administer a large comp read more..

14 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3439

Wig Eye Witness

While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk.. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained.The doctor cam... read more..

13 Oct

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4250

5 min read

The Leaping Lame Man...and Me!

A LEAPING lame man? That doesn't make sense--lame people don't LEAP....and I should know. I'm currently battling an alleged case of bursitis near the left knee--and I don't leap. Limp? I do that well!... read more..

13 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5237

Goober Job Interview

An goober goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"The goober counts carefully on her fingers f... read more..

13 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3839

Cow Horns

"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on field trip to the country.The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, read more..

13 Oct

Ask Pastor Tim

Pastor Tim

7750

3 min read

Stereotypical Attack On Jews

In response to the following joke (Telegram Scare):Schwartz and Feldman, partners in the garment industry, had just suffered through their worst season ever. Eight thousand madras sports coats were ha... read more..

Hurricanes Have Gone But Political Winds Are Blowing"

12 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3817

5 min read

Hurricanes Have Gone But Political Winds Are Blowing"

Within the last six weeks, that gusty quartet comprised of Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne has lustily serenaded Florida. A repeat performance is not in the foreseeable forecast - I hope.It is not t... read more..

12 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4883

Materialistic Or What?

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely to... read more..

12 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2948

Voting Tips

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner...One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Becaus... read more..

11 Oct

Dr. Harold McNabb

3286

10 min read

Thanksgiving Sets Us Free

A South African man surprised nine men robbing his home. Eight of the robbers ran away, but the homeowner managed to shove one into his backyard pool. After realizing the robber couldn't swim, the hom... read more..

11 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4709

Technical Terms for the Strictly Amish

Log on: making a wood stove hotterLog off: don't add no more woodMonitor: keeping an eye on the wood stoveDownload: gettin the farwood off the truckMega Hertz: when yer not keerful getting the farwood... read more..

11 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3002

Next Pastor

Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and planned move to Arizona...After the service a very distraught Mrs. Williams came to the pastor with tears in h... read more..

10 Oct

Racing

Pastor Tim

6475

2 min read

Pastor of Disaster Returns To Track

{mosimage}Last Saturday night (Oct 09) the Pastor of Disaster (Tim Davis) returned to the track at Western Speedway, Victoria.Pastor Tim was driving backup for Chris Broughton in the #37 Cybersalt.org... read more..

10 Oct

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3051

5 min read

Finding Your Way Home

I was on a plane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean when I had the first dream. As most dreams are, it was confusing, full of images and scraps of sound that, though vivid and realistic were disjointed... read more..

09 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4625

1 min read

Pilot Humor

Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or problems submitted recently by Qantas pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks prior to the aircr... read more..

08 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4443

Y to K Problem

Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, in... read more..

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