2004 - Monthly Archive - Results from #30

15 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2949

Vacuum Persuasion

My sister has the courage--but not always the skills--to tackle any home-repair project.For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawnmower she once tried to fix. So I wasn't surprised the day my ot... read more..

14 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3174

TV News

A chicken crosses the road. Here's how some of the media covers it.Here's our trusty NBC camera crew, on the trail of heartwarming sports news for "Inside Stuff." Today's topic: Young chicks cross th... read more..

13 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3927

If You Go, I'll Go

A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desper... read more..

12 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4008

Another Virus Warning

***-- VIRUS WARNING --***Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is extremely serious.? Please read very carefully and take care!If you receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" de read more..

11 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3982

Children Under Ten

Mark Twain's contention was that the most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.? These words of wisdom were all spoken by children under 10.You can li... read more..

11 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

4693

Advent: The Winds of Change

Luke 3:7-16 Just after 4:00 am, April 29, 1903, a mountain fell upon an unsuspecting town in the Alberta Rockies.1 The town of Frank Alberta was buried under about 100 million tons of limestone that d... read more..

Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

10 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4260

Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor - we're going to need a mop 3.) 'Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness' 4.) Sparky!? Comeback with that!? B read more..

09 Dec

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3019

The Fright of Christmas!?!

Maybe you better clean your computer screen and try again--certainly there's a typo there...Christmas is not a fright--never! Unless you're talking about the little kids afraid to sit on Santa's lap, ... read more..

08 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5033

Fathering

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you *idiot*!" the man shouts.&nbs... read more..

08 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

3351

Root and Branch

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him? the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of ... read more..

07 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3811

Healthy Life

In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of preserving health.One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the subject. "Look at me!... read more..

07 Dec

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4331

Life and Death at Christmas

It was one week before Christmas. I was 10 years old. Was I contemplating what gifts may await me under the tree? No. My mind was consumed with worry that I would not get home before my father died.I ... read more..

06 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3565

Crow is Also a Dish Served By Children

The traditional fowl of choice of ministers is usually thought to be chicken. This foul thought, however, is a terrible fallacy. Nobody would argue, at least for long, that we have sacrificed million... read more..

06 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5102

Afraid To Cross

Two men stand at a river which they are about to cross when they notice crocodiles looking at them."Are you afraid?" asks one to the other."Don't you know that God is merciful and God is good?""Yes I ... read more..

05 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4374

Virus Warning!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!! It is EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE and will overwrite your ENTIRE CITY!The "... read more..

04 Dec

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

5472

BMWs and Barns

A few months ago, our household experienced one of those weeks. After repeated troubleshooting on our 1992 minivan, it became clear that it was a whisker away from blowing a head gasket. Then, determi... read more..

04 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

3821

This Road Leads Home

Luke 3:1-6 How many of you remember the movie "The Homecoming"? It was a made for TV movie that was the prototype for the series, The Waltons, though with a largely different cas... read more..

04 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4050

Bungee Jumping

Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border. They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business. By noon... read more..

03 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3923

Things Moms Would Never Say

~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"~ "Just leave all the lights on . . . it makes the house lo... read more..

03 Dec

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

2976

Carol of the Heart

Ever go Christmas caroling--on a BUS? I remember bundling up, climbing aboard a church bus and trailing around the town--stopping at homes, gathering on front porches, singing our hearts out to happy ... read more..

Christmas - The Season of Same Old, Same Old?

02 Dec

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3657

Christmas - The Season of Same Old, Same Old?

It's that time of year again, the time when we begin asking one another, ?What do you want for Christmas?? My daughter asked her dad that question the other day and his answer was predictable. ?Well, ... read more..

01 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4893

Employee Reviews

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews."Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.""Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.""She sets low persona... read more..

30 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4767

The Magician and The Parrot

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.There was only one ... read more..

30 Nov

Dr. Harold McNabb

4045

God Gave Us The Dream

Isaiah 2:1-5They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore. Come, O house of Jacob, l... read more..

29 Nov

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

9167

That Long Awaited Snowfall

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee."Psalm 56:3 (KJV) Snow! Snow! Snow! For several days the weather channel had been predicting snow for our area of the state. Maybe even two or three inch read more..

29 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4029

Hiring Slogans

Beware of Companies With These Hiring Slogans:"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you."CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up."MUST BE DEADLINE... read more..

28 Nov

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3643

I'll Be Home For Christmas

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.Luke 2:11 Long before the season begins, the stores begin to bring out Christmas decorations. Then, right a... read more..

28 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5254

Vampire Bat

A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began ha... read more..

28 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3314

Jar Number 47

A new miracle doctor had just arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic.Grumpy old Mr. Th... read more..

27 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

10401

Grizzly Bears

Wildlife officials in Alaska are alarmed at the increase in grizzly bear attacks on humans, and they are advising the public to be extremely careful when hiking, fishing, hunting or camping. The... read more..