2004 - Monthly Archive - Results from #420

25 May

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

7474

What's Your Religion?

In response to following joke on the PearlyGates list (which features clean, theologically incorrect jokes) I received the flame immediately after it – after which I have included my reply. &nbs... read more..

25 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7084

Ugly Baby

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle... read more..

24 May

Sandra Boyte

Pastor Tim

6246

Behold

Behold the buzzing of the bee As it flits from bough to bud Its entire being testifies To the wonder of God's love. Behold the singing of the lark As it soars up in the sky It joyfully r... read more..

23 May

Peggie's Den

Pastor Tim

4864

Help! I'm On Overload

No, it's not the dryer you've overloaded, nor the computer your husband's overloaded; it's not the travel bag that's full to capacity, nor the tummy that's yielded to too much ice cream....it's YOU...... read more..

22 May

The Spur

Pastor Tim

4395

Just a Little Weed

{mosimage}It began slowly, a small patch of weed on the edge of the Sepik River in Papua New Guinea. Able to double its mass within a few days, the plant, called salvinia molesta, spread rapidly. Vi read more..

21 May

Sandra Boyte

Pastor Tim

5182

His Touch

One touch of Your hands And the blind can see One touch of Your hands And the prisoner is free With just one touch You calm the sea Reach out, Dear Lord Touch me.One touch of Your hands And t... read more..

Indonesian Seminary Directory and Student Martyred

20 May

Missions

Pastor Tim

6613

Indonesian Seminary Directory and Student Martyred

(Note from Pastor Tim: I met Septer Sanabuky - pictured on the right with his wife - when he and a group of singers from Indonesia ministered at our church in February of 2000. I have fo read more..

19 May

Dr. Harold McNabb

24965

Our God is Not A Distant God

"Our God is not a distant God" Hosea 1:1-11 In our recent visit to the Grand Canyon we found various view points with views of the Colorado River nearly a mile below the rim. The river looks like a read more..

19 May

Dr. Harold McNabb

5418

"The Lord of the Redeemed"

"The Lord of the Redeemed" Hosea 11:1-11 In one of the BC comic strips, there are two ants; a big ant and a little ant. Little ant: "Dad, what mysterious force keeps me from being flung off into o read more..

The Medicine of Laughter: Spurgeon?s Humor

18 May

Missions

Pastor Tim

14618

The Medicine of Laughter: Spurgeon?s Humor

Some years ago there was a documented case in the British Medical Journal about a man who laughed himself well. He actually had a terminal illness, and through the employment of laughter therapy, he read more..

17 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

7594

Is the Sinner's Prayer Effective?

Dear Friend, Usually I start my letter to you talking about an Ambassador skill that enables you to be knowledgeable, winsome, and present wisdom effectively. Here is the twist. Over the years I've b... read more..

15 May

Peggie's Den

Pastor Tim

12207

OHHH, GOD!

Grandpa, my dad, was a preacher--and often I would see him in prayer, sometimes prostrate on the floor, as he interceded before the Lord for the needs of his family, his congregation and his world!&nb... read more..

29 Apr

Uncategorised

Jeff Larson

142139

Jeff Larson's The Back Pew

Ignoring The Source

The twinge of pain shot through my hip and down my left leg. "Hmm," I thought, "Where did that come from?" It went away fairly quickly, so I forgot about it. A while later it happened again. Again, I ... read more..

28 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2784

Bell Call

The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.An exciting new discovery is about to take place. In the next room sits Bell's assistant, a man named Watson, hard at work on Bell's new invention to tra... read more..

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2675

Flight Control Software

At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:"If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers ... read more..

23 Apr

Today's Cartoon

Pastor Tim

24359

Today's Cartoon

Wire Backup

One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back t... read more..

14 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2750

Dieting Buddies

Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently."Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other ou... read more..

13 Mar

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

7372

Remember The Nails

Andrew Stawicki is always extremely and generously nice to me when we meet because I saved his life when he was shipwrecked in 1998. Really. Ok, technically it was Bob Bullen, a man who used to go t... read more..

13 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2651

Textbook For Sale

Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the beginning of each semester. One read: "Introduction to Psychology, $8, never used." The card was signed, "Must sel... read more..

05 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2762

Retirement At The Inn

Why didn't somebody tell me?With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble.I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn ... read more..

19 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3130

Heard By Tech

Things heard by tech support:Customer: "I have Microword Soft."Customer: "Microwave Windows?"Customer: "Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?"Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) "I ran Microw... read more..

18 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3360

Software Training

A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation.At first, he handled most of the work. E... read more..

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

06 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2676

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."7) "Do you ha... read more..

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2871

Landing Check

I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot desc... read more..

13 Jan

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

7587

Slippery Branches

Recently, I found myself standing at my bedroom window, looking out at the results of a rare (for Victoria) freezing rainstorm. As I surveyed my backyard, I spied, with my little eye, a robin fl... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3109

No E-mail (copyrighted??)

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a ja... read more..

09 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2996

Life and Death

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."Underneath, a nurse had written:"The last five are pretty risky,... read more..

03 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2790

Larger Than 20

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."The woman in front of us, pointing ... read more..