January 2005 - Monthly Archive

20 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3758

Looking for X, Y and Z

It happened in the kitchen. I was chatting with a friend while preparing supper. He'd stopped in unexpectedly so I was "adding a potato to the pot," so to speak. As I made trips back and forth between... read more..

20 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4253

Hand Signals

A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were confusing."First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you waved your hand up and down, then you t... read more..

19 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5185

Truth About Children

Truth About Children: - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A child will not spill on a dirty floor. - A young child is a noise with dirt on it. - A youth becomes a man ... read more..

19 Jan

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

5233

Give Jesus A Hug

"Ok, now do fifteen leg stretches." It was the voice of my Physical Therapist, Tracy. Three times a week Tracy would fill the water tank up to my shoulders and begin my exercises. After knee bends and read more..

19 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6539

PTA Speakers

As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident prevention. One night after I spoke to a PTA group, the program chairperson thanked me profusely and gave me a check for... read more..

18 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

3854

Who Does God Think We Are?

What happens for you when you walk past a mirror?Are you pleased? Do you look away?Sometime if I get up in the middle of the night and turn on the bathroom light, I am frankly startled by what I see. ... read more..

18 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4702

Taxing Sleeps

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalms 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS: I have been unable to sleep... read more..

18 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5741

Moon Cheese

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock.That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.... read more..

17 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4447

Coffee For Grandma

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the... read more..

17 Jan

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3774

The Love Of God

All of us want to be loved. There's a need instilled within us that just strives for attention and love. Lots of people get like and love all mixed up. You can like someone, but not love them. Or, you... read more..

17 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3258

Physics Purpose

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to study this stuff?" "To save lives," the professor responded an... read more..

16 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5200

Anthill Golf

Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill.Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded fro... read more..

16 Jan

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4958

A Pardon Free and Clear

Throughout the television program, as I counseled people who called in search of spiritual help and prayed on the air with those who wanted to open their hearts to Jesus Christ, the station manager st... read more..

16 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3035

Huge Steak

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if was really as large and delicious as he was making it out t... read more..

I Hate My Computer and Other Inspirational Thoughts

15 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4299

I Hate My Computer and Other Inspirational Thoughts

The New Year has not started out very well for Yours Truly. After the first day of the new year, my life went south for the rest of the winter. All I can say is, I hope it has a wonderful winter, and ... read more..

15 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5586

Honest Mechanic

I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.(Dave Henry)... read more..

15 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2965

Traffice Warning

As he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local police officer. The motorist was given a ticket for failing to come to a full stop at a stop sign."Don't I get a wa... read more..

14 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4601

Who Said That?

If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?I thought about how mothers... read more..

14 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3260

A Change In Name

I was reading a newspaper the other day and noticed something interesting. A fairly well-known ministry has just changed how it refers to itself in advertising. Its full name is no longer apparent. In... read more..

14 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2942

Roof Chicken

One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver plac... read more..

13 Jan

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3629

My Cup Runneth Over

There are many out there who have a 'plate full'; in other words, they have more than their share of the bad things of life. Those families of South East Asia who were hit by the tsunami s... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5153

Died In The Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so th... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3060

Clothing Return

While working in a clothing store, I noticed that people had no shame about returning items that obviously had been worn. One rainy morning I walked in and found a discolored blazer hanging on the rac... read more..

12 Jan

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

6337

Overtime

"All of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us?because there is little time left before the night falls and all work comes to an end." - John 9:4 (NLT)Basketball has been a large pa read more..

12 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4440

Isn't Aging Fun?

Do you realize that the only time in our liveswhen we like to get old is when we're kids?If you're less than 10 years old,you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.How old are you?....... read more..

12 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2918

ER Reminder

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.The ER nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "F... read more..

11 Jan

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

6944

Let's Give Jane Fonda A Break

In order to understand what I have to say about Jane Fonda, I must first present to you what is circulating around on the net about her. I have it here to set up my comments, not to pass it alon... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4883

Quotable Quotes

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. --Shirley TempleIf all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, ... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3155

E-Mail Blessing

E-Mail BlessingPeace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.May the mail you receive not require you to multiply it tenfold or Return it within a limited time frame.May the mai... read more..

The Art Of Balancing The Parsonage Checkbook

10 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3975

The Art Of Balancing The Parsonage Checkbook

A chance remark by the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage threw Yours Truly into a dismal panic this past week. Believe me, there is nothing pretty about panic in the parsonage. This idle comment turn... read more..