May 2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #30

23 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3100

Mouth Surgery

We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed."Dad," our teenager ask... read more..

23 May

Misc

pirate

2009

Bible Study

Settling down to solid Bible Study & Prayer is getting difficult. Distractions, needless tasks, time slipping by? At times I get too sure of myself and try to be God's disciple in My Strength. A... read more..

22 May

Dr. Harold McNabb

3317

No Small People

Vaclav Havel, the president of the Czech Republic says: "We live in the postmodern world, where everything is possible and almost nothing is certain."Havel is not the first to have said it, but what m... read more..

22 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5761

Growing Up

While on recess duty at the elementary school where I teach, I was talking with several second-graders about what they wanted to be when they grew up. Rhonda said that she was planning to be a nun."Bu... read more..

21 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4553

Will To Remember

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 millio... read more..

21 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4855

Small Town Justice

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain." "Just be quiet!!!" snapped the officer. "...or I'm going to... read more..

21 May

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4815

Being God's Helper

Our daughter fell on the tile in her kitchen floor and dislocated her kneecap. In addition the ligaments securing the kneecap were torn. For two weeks her only means of walking was with cumbersome cru... read more..

21 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3480

Bob Hope Quotes

Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill".ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."ON TURNING 90 "You... read more..

21 May

Misc

pirate

1986

Hey

Long time no post. Another year older ? any wiser? Thank you to Karen & Ian who emailed me in my absence. I was asked the other day, ?What is the one most important fact about your faith?? Then... read more..

20 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3858

Just The Fax, M'am

For years, I smugly prided myself as a non-fax machine person. I felt it beneath my dignity to own such a technical contraption. The quill is more my style than a computer but, being practical, I relu... read more..

20 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4070

Seeing Eye Dog

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. When they come to a busy intersection the dog ignores the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street and leads the blind ma... read more..

20 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2836

Oversensitive Reply

I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead. "Have you seen this?" I ... read more..

19 May

Dr. Harold McNabb

3642

Be Filled With The Spirit

I did not win the Denomination Derby last year. Oh, I was out there competing. Well, not exactly competing....driving as fast as I could. I had won it the year previous and figured my car was running ... read more..

19 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4352

Actual Church Signs

Reported to be actual church signs.... 1. Free Trip to heaven. Details inside! 2. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins. 3. Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here! 4. Hav... read more..

19 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4660

Testimony Night

It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week."Whereupon her husba... read more..

18 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4898

Priest's Uniform

A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his "work uniform" went up to the priest and asked, "Why do you dress so funny?". The priest replied, "This is the uniform that I wear when I w... read more..

18 May

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4846

Forgetful?

I am hardly ever at a loss for words. But, this week, I have been late getting out the newsletter simply because I have been unable to write an article to enclose here. Many subjects have run through ... read more..

18 May

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4371

Kasey Wins At Richmond

Points leader Jimmie Johnson had a miserable night. His teammate and #2 in points, Jeff Gordon, hit the wall on lap 165 and never recovered. He finished 39th. It could have been Kurt Busch's night to ... read more..

18 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2832

Military Chat

During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different aircraft to familiarize myself with their capabilities. One day I was aboard an intelligence aircraft where each... read more..

17 May

Rev. Spence Laycock

3257

The Wonder of the Ascension

Do you remember that final verse we looked at this past Easter Sunday, when Mary Magdalene first saw the risen Christ and was told to stop clinging to Him. Jesus told her to go tell the disciples that... read more..

17 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3837

Offended Goober

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberA goober goes to a show and after sitting down, a ventriloqui... read more..

16 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3744

Things Learned From Children

Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as child-proofing your house. * If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, t... read more..

16 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4764

Washing One Another's Feet

Do you remember what Jesus said after He washed the disciples? feet? "`Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that... read more..

16 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2910

Insured Voice

A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."There is a hu... read more..

15 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4294

Where Are We?

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for l... read more..

15 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5116

10 Tips To Help Your Prayer Life

If praying does not come effortlessly for you, try these tips for making your prayer life more focused and effective. For a few hardy prayer warriors, talking with God is as easy as breathing; it ha... read more..

15 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2860

Lab Mix

This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of wat... read more..

14 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4640

Gore Flubs

We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al Gore. "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder... read more..

14 May

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3300

World Power!

Add a new i-MAC/G-5 to one new cable modem and you've got me--and millions like me--connected to an amazing world called the Internet. E-mail flies into my office from around the world; Web pages find... read more..

14 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

10844

Family Picnic

The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant was accustomed to seeing tired and sunburned occupants in the cars that pulled in to tank up. When a rusty old... read more..