July 2005 - Monthly Archive

31 Jul

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4731

Give 'em Heaven

What is it we're about as Christians? What is it we're doing? I want to talk about what I did the last couple of weeks. Some of you were around last year--I'd like to think that I have not lost any ... read more..

31 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3762

More Bad Headlines

~ March Planned For Next August ~ Blind Bishop Appointed To See ~ Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip ~ L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide ~ Patient At Death's Door... read more..

31 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3040

Jack's Will

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will and testament."To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and one million dollars. To my son Ba... read more..

37 Plus 22 Equals Short Night For Pastor Tim

31 Jul

Racing

Pastor Tim

8092

37 Plus 22 Equals Short Night For Pastor Tim

Pastor Tim Davis, known at Western Speedway as the Pastor of Disaster, was slightly injured last night during the first lap of the A heat in the Claimer Division. Davis, who was driving bac... read more..

How Amnesia Has Improved My Quality of Life

30 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3967

How Amnesia Has Improved My Quality of Life

Last week my wife sent me to the mall on an errand. Normally I don't like going to the mall, especially by myself, but when my wife sends me, I submit to my husbandly duty. Years ago when I joined her... read more..

30 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2869

Out of Fuel

Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the Newark airfield in sight?!?!!"Cessna: "Uh, um...tower,... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3609

John Will Be Fine

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied... read more..

29 Jul

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3326

The Day I Faced My Failure

This time of year makes me a bit jittery. It's that time when people ask, "Do you garden?" I take that question personally. I guess it's a hold-over from my Yukon days, but I always have the feeling t... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2689

Verbalized Prayers

The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would verbalize their prayers at the weekly staff meeting. He led off: "Lord, my daughter is about to go away to college, I o... read more..

28 Jul

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

10681

Persuading Others to Follow Christ

Today, in an effort to be sophisticated and contemporary, many Christians have stopped trying to persuade others to follow Christ. There's an underlying feeling in our society that nice people just do... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3633

Parenting Test

MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the Wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the co... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3275

Foot Pill

A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results. Some time later an orderly appeared and handed the man a large pill.Just then a mother with a small child ... read more..

27 Jul

Rev. Spence Laycock

3270

Why Did The Church Cross the Road?

If you put a twist on the age old line, ?Why did the chicken cross the road?? and instead ask, ?Why did the church cross the road?? the answers could look like this: Mark Twain would have said, 'the... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3414

That's Hospital Coverage!

Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a S... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3048

Lion Attack

Two wildlife documentary film makers were filming a wild lion in Africa when they both noticed that the lion was about to attack them.One of the men put down his camera and slowly began changing from ... read more..

26 Jul

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4524

It Is Hot

The weather is almost unbelievable! It seemed to never quit raining after the last hurricane. But, when it did, the weather went wild with heat! Today,it's hitting the 100 mark,with the he... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3793

The Cautious Pilot

Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2899

Rabbi Sneak

There was this rabbi in a small town, and he was really curious about why so many people ate pork. He really wanted to try some, but there was no where in town he could go and not be seen. One weekend... read more..

25 Jul

Dr. Harold McNabb

3585

What Goes Around, Comes Around

One of the bothersome details about the life of Jacob is his character. He is a schemer and deceiver, and yet God makes a covenant with him, just as he had with his grandfather, Abraham. We know that ... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5376

How Do You Spell That

Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Ole replied, "At da end of Eucalyptus D... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3122

Letter Pride

One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a college student. "Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary.""You're lucky," t... read more..

25 Jul

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

10091

Airbag

In respose to my devotional "Entertainment vs. Safety" Tony wrote: Pastor Tim, Wish you had harped a bit on the possible dire consequences of anyone removing an airbag just for gratification of "sel... read more..

24 Jul

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3631

Great Getaway!

Heard about a getaway that wasn't so great-- a dog, frightened of the July 4th fireworks, ran away, across a busy street, and a family searched frantically for him. In desperation, they ran an ad in t... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3673

Bulletin Bloopers #2

More Church Bulletins Bloopers - The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." - During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privil... read more..

23 Jul

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

5000

Smile

Today I received a sweet smile from my grandson Levi. I cherish that look that he saves for special times. My family is so filled with females. A sister, two daughters, a niece and three precious gran... read more..

23 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3790

Corporate America in the 90's

You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if: - You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. - Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. - You... read more..

22 Jul

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

6617

Entertainment vs. Safety

Anyone who knows me just a little knows that I like electronic gadgets and toys. Whether the newest computer peripheral, the latest digital media hardware, or the most recently increased-in... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3766

Go Get Grandma

When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit u... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2933

Two Kids

Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted children curiously. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black ... read more..

A Day at The Beach and A Lesson on God's Love

21 Jul

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3111

A Day at The Beach and A Lesson on God's Love

The day couldn't have been more perfect. The sky was clear, the sun dancing off the water. The beach slowly filled with parents and children, out to enjoy a day at the beach. After an overnight camp o... read more..