July 2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #30

21 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6378

Blind Ambition

Charlie Boswell has always been one of my heroes. He has inspired me and thousands of others to rise above circumstances and live our true passion. Charlie was blinded during World War II ... read more..

21 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2659

Grocery Pickup

Soon after my 16-year-old sister started working after school as a grocery-store cashier, I went to see how she was doing.I tried to make myself inconspicuous as I waited to check out my purchases. Ah... read more..

Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3628

Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honour Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would cons... read more..

20 Jul

Rev. Spence Laycock

3440

At The Bottom of the Pile .... Faith

It's third down and a yard to go, Jason Maas, quarter back for the Edmonton Eskimos, gets in close behind his offensive line. Across from him are the front four for Saskatchewan , Andrew Greene weighi... read more..

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3616

The Hokey Pokey

*The Hokey Pokey*Original LyricsPut your left foot in,Your left foot out,Your left foot in,And shake it all about.You do the hokey pokeyAnd turn yourself aroundThat's what it's all about.*The Hokey Po read more..

19 Jul

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4225

I?m Not Perfect

If we live, we make mistakes. We will never be perfect here on earth, as in 'man's perfection?. Just last night, I got a note written in my Guestbook that told me to ?quit judging?, ?who do you think ... read more..

19 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3837

Quarter Back

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters? Nurse: No change yet.... read more..

19 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2450

Perfectly Made

When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked present... read more..

18 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3857

Doctor Visit

A guy walks into a Doctor's office. He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle out of his nose and a rasher of bacon out of his other ear. He asks the Doctor what's wrong .. and he repli... read more..

18 Jul

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4391

Gospel Fodder

I want to start out this segment responding to a letter. I receive letters on occasion. Often times there is nothing to respond to because they're not that kind of letter. Other times there's a lot to... read more..

18 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2767

Skiing Experience

Miss the experience of skiing? Try the following to get that feeling back.10. Visit your local butcher and pay $10 to sit in his walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bill... read more..

17 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3815

Sick At Church

Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit attack impending. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you c... read more..

17 Jul

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4236

Disciplining the Church

What should the church do when a member turns to strong drink to avoid a personal problem--turn the other way and hope nobody smells his breath?What should the church do when a member is an incessant ... read more..

17 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2750

Insurance Reflection

Bill's barn burned down, and his wife Polly called the insurance company.Polly told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money."The agent replied, "Hold o... read more..

16 Jul

Dr. Harold McNabb

3603

Surely God is in This Place

One of the underlying goals of space research is the search for life beyond ourselves. When any of the building blocks of life, primarily water, carbon and nitrogen are found there is considerable exc... read more..

16 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4110

Sunday Funnies

One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. ... read more..

16 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2747

Come and Get Me

My brother dropped off his wife at the hairstylist and she was supposed to call me when she was ready to be picked up. She must have dialed a wrong number, she reported later.She called, and a man sai... read more..

15 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3817

The Toddler Diet

Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), or you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or ... read more..

15 Jul

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3633

The Lemonade Stand

Hey, Jason--what's ice cold, sweet and sour, and Mom makes it in the summertime? Now Jason, our then 14-year-old clown, KNOWS and "loves" the answer, but he's not sipping right away--for he's ready to... read more..

15 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2561

Ten Dresses

My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses."Ten!" he hollered, "What could any w... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

11513

Future Son In Law?

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he deci... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2727

Weight Report

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. H... read more..

13 Jul

Rev. Spence Laycock

3090

Standing Firm in the Glory of Christ

It was 1798, William Wilberforce had battled against the political and commercial forces that were heavily invested in slave trading. For 10 years he had worked to almost no avail, after another defea... read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4288

Goobers Fishing

Three goobers are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps one of them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I'd... read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2932

Coverup Catch

This guy had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.He told the fis... read more..

12 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3791

Even More Musings

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 2. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. 3. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large read more..

11 Jul

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4851

True Greatness

It has happened again! Hurricane Dennis slammed into the Florida coast of the United States only ten months after Ivan did so much damage in the same area. Structural damage does not appear to be as m... read more..

11 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3808

Pastor To The Rescue

There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one of them started screaming and yelling, "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food!&nbs... read more..

11 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3127

"R" Troubles

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at ho... read more..

10 Jul

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3287

Deadly Things Are Lurking

The newspaper headline was ominous. A potentially deadly virus had been detected in our area and health officials were concerned. It was unnerving because the virus is carried by a common rodent and read more..