August 2005 - Monthly Archive

20 Aug

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5054

Do I Love Him?

My full and open honesty to Him is often a painful thing. Seeking out, and facing, all my empty 'Christianized' masks and motives, cranked-out words, token prayers, and bargain-basement obedienc... read more..

20 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3106

Teaching Math

Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging for some change. I pulled out 8 cents and gave it to her. She stood there with $2 and 8 cents. She looked bewil... read more..

19 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4022

New and Approved

The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story. From time to time, she would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By... read more..

19 Aug

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3510

Our Lives as Echoes

It's a classic tale of good and evil, loyalty and betrayal, greed and honor. It was a popular book when it was first published and over the years it has been made into both movie and video versions. I... read more..

19 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2670

Prescription Change

An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to Mrs. Smith.""Oh, he did, did he?" ... read more..

18 Aug

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3754

He's My Child Too!

Dedicated to all parents taking kids to college--and to all parents who need to know that, whatever's going on, YOUR child is HIS child too!! Whew! What a roller-coaster weekend this has been--the emo... read more..

18 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4082

Too Late To Date

After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was given a note from her personal belongings. In the woman's handwriting were specific instructions for her fun... read more..

18 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5031

Clutter Advice

About a week ago, I came across an Internet advice column that told me how to eliminate the paperwork clutter on my desk.Great.So I printed out the five pages of how-to instructions, and placed them o... read more..

16 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4477

Late For Church

A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday school. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me... read more..

16 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4871

18 Wheeler

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections i... read more..

15 Aug

Harris Dvores

Pastor Tim

4728

Standing in the Gap

Many of us have shared the gospel with people we love, only to have them respond very badly. You look back on it and wonder, what if I had done things differently? What if I had said this, or not done... read more..

15 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4040

More One-liners

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. For peopl... read more..

15 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2658

True Calls to the IRS

True Calls to the IRSCaller: I want to know if I should file married or single.IRS: Are you married?Caller: Well, sort of ....IRS: What?Caller: Well, we did get married, but we're not counting on it.C... read more..

14 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4064

Spelling Help

My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting rea... read more..

14 Aug

Dr. Harold McNabb

4046

Don't Be A Victim

On December 1, 1997, Missy Jenkins was one of seven students gunned down at Heath High School in Paducah, Kentucky, following a school prayer meeting. A bullet damaged her spinal cord, leaving Missy d... read more..

14 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2986

Thunderstorm Plea

An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the sky. One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him."Can't you do something... read more..

13 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3636

A Captain's Tale

Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly-man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the cr... read more..

13 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2895

Blind Date

After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave... read more..

12 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3780

Still In Love After All These Years

A great delight of being a minister is watching a relationship grow into a wonderful romance. Often the pastor is the first to recognize the signs, even before the couple realizes it. My wife and I pl... read more..

12 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

9993

Are We There Yet?

The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?" "No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know,"... read more..

12 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3030

Police Baste

A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to baste a turkey. After a stunned moment, he, being a fairly good cook, described the procedure. Then he asked, "B... read more..

11 Aug

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3382

Terrorist on the Loose!?!

No, I don't mean your kids--or mine--although there are days that either may qualify for the grand prize, I'm sure! AND I don't mean the terrorists on the streets of our cities that bomb buildings and... read more..

11 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4213

Skipping School

The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly, deciding to bunk and go to the mall with her friends waited till her ... read more..

11 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3086

Positive Start

How to start your day with a positive outlook.1. Open a new file in your PC.2. Name it "Housework."3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want ... read more..

10 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3730

Half Joking Pastor

Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the enti... read more..

Scratch the Surface and What Do You Find?

10 Aug

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3260

Scratch the Surface and What Do You Find?

The C.E.O. stares blindly out at the spectacular view from his office window. After years of conniving and manipulation he is at the helm of the company. He had great plans for his future but circumst... read more..

10 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2854

Dentist Bill

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge.""Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you s... read more..

09 Aug

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3833

Life Worth Living

You hear people moaning and groaning about what a bad life they have! They seem to never be satisfied with anything that ever comes their way. They covet what others have, or what others are doing. I ... read more..

09 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3600

Johnny's Dust

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family. "Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodi... read more..

09 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3202

Finished Chores

My parents are both busy professional people and have trouble finding time for chores and home maintenance. On weekends they each make a list of things to be done. Father's list is never completely cr... read more..