September 2005 - Monthly Archive

20 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3081

Late Night Studying

My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her ... read more..

19 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3717

Flower Switch

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace". The owner wa... read more..

19 Sep

Dr. Harold McNabb

3489

What Is It?

One of the routines in worship is our practice of saying the Lord's Prayer in unison. As you know, the Lord's prayer says, "give us this day our daily bread". That's a simple enough statement. I suppo... read more..

19 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2737

Seniors' Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99."Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs.""Then I'll have to charg... read more..

18 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3392

Super Golfball

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. "Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other ... read more..

18 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2690

Ash Request

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.""And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with yo... read more..

17 Sep

Wonders of Creation

2935

Wonders of Creation - Facts

One thing very few people do is sit down with a given amount of time and a pile of facts and think things through. The result of such an exercise is quite often a reversal in what was previously belie... read more..

17 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3803

With Friends Like That...

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" "Henry ha... read more..

17 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2677

E-mail Problem

The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to ac... read more..

16 Sep

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3940

Will Life Ever Be Normal Again?

So many people in the coastal areas of Alabama, Mississippi,and Louisiana have been removed from their homes. Most of them have lost their homes, and everything they own. In many of those cities/towns... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3809

Rhymes and Tubes

Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the bank to conduct my business rather than the drive-thru which with two children I almost exclusively use. I was si... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3558

Insurance

* A lot of life insurance policies cost a great deal of money to maintain. But look on the bright side -- when you die, you'll be rich !- - - - -* Who says that life insurance agents don't have feelin read more..

15 Sep

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3147

Stirring The Paint

I stood in the bare white room and sighed. Paint cans, trays, rollers and brushes were stacked in the middle of the floor. Every breath I took reminded me that I'd been here for a number of days, but ... read more..

15 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

12016

Be Careful Following the Crowd

Another true life story for the Funnies... A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going... read more..

15 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2760

Sugar Worry

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said."Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked."No," the caller a... read more..

14 Sep

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3732

School Daze ... and Knights!

School days, school days, good, old Golden Rule days..." They're back--in the USA--again! Kids hop on buses with backpacks and lunch boxes and--if there's a big project, YOU'RE off in your car to sc read more..

14 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2795

Silent Descent

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance. "Teddy," he called, "how many more times have I got to tell you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and come down l... read more..

13 Sep

Rev. Spence Laycock

3141

When God Believes - Part 2

Life it seems is an endless experience of new beginnings. Perhaps the beginnings are small, like beginning to learn a new sport or perhaps the beginnings are huge like beginning to live on your own, b... read more..

13 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2635

10 Easy Ways To Say No

I'd love to, but...1 I have to floss my cat.2 I've dedicated my life to linguini.3 I want to spend more time with my blender.4 The President said he might drop in.5 The man on television tol... read more..

12 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3921

Mom, Send Money

A kid called up his mum from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. Mum said, "Sure, sweetie. Mum will send you some money. You also left your calculus b... read more..

12 Sep

Wonders of Creation

2759

Wonders of Creation - Time

Time is familiar but also a mystery, for without it all the processes in the universe could not happen. Without time, you could not move your eyes from one word to another as you read this sentence. T... read more..

12 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2594

Most Difficult Case

Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over dinner, one asked, "What was your most difficult case?"The other replied, "I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed... read more..

11 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3833

Swerving Goober

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver. "Sir, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The goober replied, "Oh officer, thank g... read more..

11 Sep

Dr. Harold McNabb

3683

Goodbye Pharoah

Have you ever been on the Universal Studios tour? If you have, then you have seen the secret of how Cecil B. DeMille parted the Red Sea. Have you ever wondered how God did it? These past couple of wee... read more..

Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

11 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2760

Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming, "YOU.....SHALL....NOT..... PASS!"3. Ask everyone around you i read more..

10 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4064

Ooops in the Forest

Two hikers were walking through some foothills when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in the ground. They figured it must be the opening for a vertical air shaft from an old abandoned coal mine.... read more..

10 Sep

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3208

Fear of Failure

Sewing is one of those domestic skills that I was taught when a young girl. I learned it at the home of friend who convinced me to join a 4H group. It was a lot of fun getting together wit... read more..

10 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

20151

Dangling Participles

Dangling Participle Alert!~ The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy hair weighing about 150 pounds.~ The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr. Hannon, ... read more..

10 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5563

Setting The Table

Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed... read more..

10 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3607

How Time Flies When I Am In A Hurry

Have you ever noticed that when you are on vacation time goes by rapidly? According to my calculations (and I'm the first to admit I didn't do well in calculus), the average minute during vacation tim... read more..