October 2005 - Monthly Archive

31 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4350

Children At The Dinner Party

During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was hap... read more..

31 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7012

Getting Ready

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet? We're going to be late for the costume party."Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4067

Three Gifts

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother." The secon... read more..

30 Oct

Wonders of Creation

3375

Wonders of Creation - Venus

In 2004, if you had sharp eyes, you might have seen Venus passing across the fiery disc of the sun. This was called a transit, and it comes as a double, with a second transit eight years after the fir... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3885

Computer Help Desk

Heard by the computer help desk:A customer couldn't get on the Internet:Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."Helpdesk: "Can you tell ... read more..

29 Oct

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

5318

Biblical Proportions

In the last 12 months, our television, radios, and newspapers have blazed, beamed and borne story after story of natural disaster. The South Eastern Asia earthquake and tsunami, hurricane Katrina, hur... read more..

29 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3842

Speeding Excuses

Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.A man told the off... read more..

28 Oct

Dr. Harold McNabb

4667

Tithing: It's a Law of the Heart

Donald Drusky of Syracuse New York took God to court. The one-time employee of USX Corporation blamed God for failing to rectify the wrong done to him when he was fired in 1968. Drusky waged a 30-year... read more..

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

28 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4283

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..." 8. "The GOOD news is... you have termites." 7. "Do you hap read more..

28 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2854

Helping Sam at Church

Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on parishioners for upkeep and maintenance of the church. Once he asked my husband, Sam, to rewire the confessiona... read more..

27 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4226

1 in 5

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be, that one of us is Chinese. It's either my mom or my dad, my older brother Colin, me or my ... read more..

27 Oct

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

6197

Funny Face...Fake Face

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's got the funniest face of all?" Check out those Halloween trick-or-treaters at your door in a few days...You?ll meet some pretty funny--and strange--faces...but you read more..

27 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3555

Senior Ailments

A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee," said one."Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see... read more..

26 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4569

Pet Names

Bernie was invited to his ageing friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.... read more..

26 Oct

Wonders of Creation

3136

Wonders of Creation - One Person's Difference

Every book produced by Readers Digest, (as far as I know), if it says anything about the origin of life, or the age of the Earth, will say only one thing: that life evolved from non-living materials, ... read more..

26 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2926

Pet Training

A rolled up newspaper can be an effective pet training tool when used properly.For instance, use the rolled-up newspaper if your dog chews up something inappropriate or has a housebreaking accident. B... read more..

25 Oct

Rev. Spence Laycock

3830

Faith Is the Victory

This morning we are going to consider a place in Israel that is one of the oldest ruins on the face of the earth. Next to Jerusalem , no other Israeli city has received as much interest or research. I... read more..

25 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4210

Stuffed Pockets

A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all t... read more..

Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

25 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3123

Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say; 'Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barr read more..

24 Oct

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5910

Two Shall Become One

Some marriages may be made in heaven, but many of the details have to be worked out here on earth. Unfortunately, many couples enter into an intimate relationship with little or no thought about how s... read more..

24 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3920

The Gas Men

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked thei... read more..

24 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3169

Government Work

You know you work for the government when:The process becomes more important than the product.You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting on a subject you know nothing about.You feel you con... read more..

23 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4827

God Will Provide

A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiance to his study for a drink. ... read more..

23 Oct

Dr. Harold McNabb

4092

You Have the Seed: Plant it

You will always be rich enough to be generous. My good friend Gordon Patterson, minister at New Hope Baptist Church told me of a year he spent in mission work in Kenya. He said that on one occasion, ... read more..

22 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3962

The Envelope Please

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes....#1,#2,#3. ... read more..

22 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4001

Pumpkin Pie Is A Vegetable ? Right?

A controversy has raised its ugly head between the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly. It has been a long time since such a rift has invaded the tranquility of our domicile. Sure, our ... read more..

22 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2685

Chemlite Arrival

Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps very difficult. We attach small lights called chemlites to make our jumpsuits visible to the rest of the team.Late one night, lost after a prac... read more..

21 Oct

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4405

A "Someone" Rerun

Reruns can be dull, boring, uneventful re-hashing of the same ole stuff you've seen a hundred times before...but I've got a re-run to recommend to you that, when God's the producer, will make your day... read more..

21 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3911

Procrastinator's Creed

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3. I will never rush into a read more..

21 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2679

Good Doctors

A fellow was asked if there were any good doctors is his home town. "Good doctors!" he exclaimed. "We have the best doctors in the world. Dr. James Jones is one good doctor; he's great; he saved my li... read more..