December 2005 - Monthly Archive

15 Dec

Joshua Goodling

5203

A Lesson From Rudolph

First of all, I hate to have to mention the fact, but Rudolph the "Red Nosed Reindeer" is just a fictional character. I know that statement alone will be shocking to some. :-) However, I was listening... read more..

14 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3971

Goober in Snow Storm

A goober got lost in her car in a New England snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Sure enough,... read more..

14 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3144

What Don't You Have?

An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have chest pains, headaches, back pains, nausea, arthritis, constipation, stomach cramps, earaches, burning in the e... read more..

Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Computer Hacker

13 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3756

Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Computer Hacker

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running.8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.7. Se read more..

12 Dec

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

6529

What Must We Do?

Throughout the television program, as I counseled people who called in search of spiritual help and prayed on the air with those who wanted to open their hearts to Jesus Christ, the station manager st... read more..

12 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3972

A Short History of Medicine

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."1850 AD - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."1940 AD - "That potion is snak read more..

12 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2698

Cart Ads

My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the c... read more..

11 Dec

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4872

The Christmas Carpenter From Nazareth

One of the "joys" of Christmas is "Toy Assembly 101." Late Christmas Eve, you take "it" out of the box--whatever "it" is--read the so-called simple instructions ALWAYS including the magic words, "No a... read more..

11 Dec

Christmas

Pastor Tim

4702

A Holiday Tradition - Christmas Hate

Christmas, the true story of God's love come to us in the flesh, is also a time that many people hate. What is the solution for what we hate about Christmas? You will find the answer t... read more..

10 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

3890

Let's Celebrate With Joy

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to hear the fist sermon Jesus preached? We heard part of it when Isaiah 61 was read this morning. In Luke's gospel, shortly after His baptism, Jesus goes t... read more..

10 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3889

The Vending Machine

A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has never seen before. She sees the slot for money, gets money out of her purse, puts $.65 into the machine, and pu... read more..

10 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2675

Lobster Pets

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.The fisherman says to... read more..

09 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3812

"Pepsi" Is The Same In Any Language

Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly enjoyed a trip to Asia. Thailand was our destination and adventure was our disposition. We thrilled with many new experiences on our ex... read more..

09 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2700

Soup Solution

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The frog should surface any moment now.... read more..

09 Dec

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4147

Missing Christmas

Sulking and soaking. For me, the two always go together. I know when I'm not fit to be around people, especially the people I'm mad at, so the bathtub is the best place to be. I run the water as hot a... read more..

08 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4167

Frog in Pocket

A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. 'Kiss me and I will turn into a princess.' The guy picks the frog up and puts it in ... read more..

08 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2874

Zoo Trip

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him."So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home."Great... read more..

07 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4955

Think!

In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: "THINK"! The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the ... read more..

07 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2603

The Night of Tax Day

Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,Every creature was whirring, even the mouse.The floppy was placed in the disk drive with care,In certainty Saint Silicon soon would be there.The chips... read more..

07 Dec

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

6302

A Little Kindness

Today I was in Walmart, waiting while my wife checked out her purchases. It happened that a friend of ours was the greeter. I watched her pass out some small gifts with a friendly word, dr... read more..

06 Dec

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4676

Christmas Is Upon Us

Christmas is in the air, believe it or not! Yesterday, five women from our church met to decorate the church for Christmas. It's an exciting time, in that we gather, work in the church, making it beau... read more..

06 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3995

Lost Over Washington State

A helicopter was flying around above Washington State yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the cloud... read more..

06 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5432

Analogies and Metaphors

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.- He fell for her like his heart was a mob in... read more..

05 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3532

Signs the Childhood is Over

Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun. The average ten-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are. Being bad is no ... read more..

05 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

3716

Be At Peace

Another of the common jokes of our time begins with a person receiving the news from his doctor that he has only days to live. Here is one version: A man went in for his annual checkup and received a ... read more..

05 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2577

Thank You Cards

My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized. Before she leaves on a trip, she always types up address labels for her postcards.This time, I figured I'd don... read more..

04 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5599

Hymns for Speeders

Now, for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns for you: 45 mph.................God Will Take Care of You55 mph.................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah65 mph.................Nearer My Go... read more..

Friendly Skies Turn Hostile In The 'Toilette'

04 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3534

Friendly Skies Turn Hostile In The 'Toilette'

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly recently enjoyed a trip to Thailand. In planning the trip, I did not consider the time we would spend on the airplane. My focus was on what we wo... read more..

03 Dec

Wonders of Creation

4506

Wonders of Creation - Quantum Physics

When a baby is born, all it knows is the warmth and security of its womb, but suddenly it has a whole new universe to understand. From inside its basinet, the world appears to be inhabited by giants, ... read more..

03 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5975

Who's Your Daddy?

While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad. "That's not your real father," she said, startling the whole family."Yes, he i... read more..