2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #120

08 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3837

Y zero K

Message from: RomeJanuary 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left. I don't know ... read more..

08 Nov

Wonders of Creation

3339

Wonders of Creation - Intelligent Design

Suppose someone built a car with everything as it should be, but instead of the usual tyres, they filled the inner tubes with concrete, or left out the steering wheel. The car would still go, but it w... read more..

08 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2913

Pie Manners

In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.When the dinner was nearly over, the boy went to t... read more..

07 Nov

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4625

What Did You Say?

According to pollster George Gallup Jr., "Americans revere the Bible, but...by and large, they don't read it." As a result, many don't know what it says.It's easy for Christians to forget how baffling... read more..

07 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3552

Goober Y2K Date Change Project Status:

Y-to-K Date Change Project Status: Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyze... read more..

07 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2612

Ever Driven a Honda?

A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window, "Yes?""Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?""No I haven't"The biker ... read more..

06 Nov

Dr. Harold McNabb

3885

Is it Too Late?

On July 25, 2000, Air France Concorde flight 4590 on July 25, 2000, which crashed on take off in Paris. One hundred passengers, nine crew, and four people on the ground were killed when the Concorde b... read more..

06 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2803

Control and Escape

The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (control) and the other Esc (escape), just as they look on ... read more..

Daylight-Saving Time Is Not Quite Like Money In The Bank

05 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3902

Daylight-Saving Time Is Not Quite Like Money In The Bank

Once again, it's that time of the year when we have turned our clocks back one hour. It is ?fall back? and 'spring forward,? although I never seem to get ahead. Daylight-saving time was designed to ad... read more..

05 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3974

More Dog Quotes

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown "In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unlessabsolutely certain that he can read more..

05 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3755

Encyclopaedia Set for Sale

FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica.Excellent Condition.$1200 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything .....?... read more..

05 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2610

Husband's Check

Proud and pleased as she could be, the new, young bride, Mrs. Stanford Strothers, strode briskly up to the teller's cage at the bank to cash her husband's pay check for the first time.When the teller ... read more..

04 Nov

Wonders of Creation

3245

Wonders of Creation - Intelligence

If you are reading this, you are intelligent. You can also be assured that the writer of this item was not a machine. Not many years ago, many of the pioneers of artificial intelligence would have bee... read more..

04 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2738

Dr. Dress

During my surgical residency I was called out of a sound sleep to the emergency room. Unshaven and with tousled hair, I showed up with an equally unpresentable medical student. In the ER we encountere... read more..

03 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3837

Dog Quotes

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." - Unknown "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."- Gene Hill "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; i read more..

03 Nov

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4344

A Life, Worthy

I once had to walk through a swamp with a heavy pack on my back. I stumbled at almost every step because of the muskeg, my legs chilled to the bone by ice-cold water that lurked beneath the hummocks w... read more..

03 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2509

Station Help

An elderly man was standing in front of the ticket office in Grand Central Station. A picture of utter helplessness, it was clear something was horribly wrong with him. He stood with his elbows presse... read more..

02 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6081

The Perfect Church Design

A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you". The vicar acc... read more..

01 Nov

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4768

A Whole New World of Pleasures

One of the things we do here is talk about speculative issues. We've talked about the nature of time and whether God is in time. It's sometimes fun to sit back and reflect on things. Some of you like ... read more..

01 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4049

Perfect Pet

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "Ho... read more..

01 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2754

Epitaph Adjustment

A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving. Th... read more..

31 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4361

Children At The Dinner Party

During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was hap... read more..

31 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7025

Getting Ready

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet? We're going to be late for the costume party."Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4078

Three Gifts

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother." The secon... read more..

30 Oct

Wonders of Creation

3384

Wonders of Creation - Venus

In 2004, if you had sharp eyes, you might have seen Venus passing across the fiery disc of the sun. This was called a transit, and it comes as a double, with a second transit eight years after the fir... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3897

Computer Help Desk

Heard by the computer help desk:A customer couldn't get on the Internet:Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."Helpdesk: "Can you tell ... read more..

29 Oct

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

5328

Biblical Proportions

In the last 12 months, our television, radios, and newspapers have blazed, beamed and borne story after story of natural disaster. The South Eastern Asia earthquake and tsunami, hurricane Katrina, hur... read more..

29 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3853

Speeding Excuses

Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.A man told the off... read more..

28 Oct

Dr. Harold McNabb

4676

Tithing: It's a Law of the Heart

Donald Drusky of Syracuse New York took God to court. The one-time employee of USX Corporation blamed God for failing to rectify the wrong done to him when he was fired in 1968. Drusky waged a 30-year... read more..

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

28 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4292

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..." 8. "The GOOD news is... you have termites." 7. "Do you hap read more..