2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #240

25 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4210

Road To Easy Street

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. ... read more..

24 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4596

Environmental Problem

This was an actual letter from and reply to the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality: From: State of Michigan Grand Rapids District Office State Office Building 6th Floor 350 Ottawa NW Grand R... read more..

24 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4512

My Grandmother's Old King James Bible

It has been a quiet week in the parsonage, notwithstanding the dismal, unflorida weather we have been having. Actually, the weather, or lack of good weather, gave me a chance to go through some boxes ... read more..

24 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2810

Best Out Of Office Replies

Best Out Of Office Replies1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.2. You are receiving this automatic notification becau... read more..

23 Sep

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5200

I'm Not Dead Yet

Why are human beings valuable? What is a human being? You have to answer those questions before you can say that this child isn't a human being without value. I had a fascinating discussion with some... read more..

23 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4576

Afraid of The Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go o... read more..

23 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2637

Bike Training

Never having learned to ride a bicycle as a child, I finally decided to do it in my late twenties. My boyfriend, William, offered to teach me, and we headed to the park for my first lesson. He held on... read more..

22 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4490

New Duct Tape

I was with my eldest son one day, driving around town in my old Toyota pickup, when Lawrence was around 5 years old. The Toyota ran like a top but the glove compartment latch had been broken for some... read more..

22 Sep

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4711

How Big Is Your Vision?

Have you ever tasted a nice, cool, refreshing Coke? Congratulations! So have hundreds of millions of other people all around the world. And it's all Robert Woodruff's fault. Well, not all his fault. B... read more..

22 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2828

Stern Announcement

During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people.He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, "There are two of you here who have not heard... read more..

21 Sep

Wonders of Creation

3858

Wonders of Creation - DNA

On April 14th, 2003 scientists announced to the world that they had finished sequencing the human genome. This meant they had managed to log the three billion pairs of DNA nucleotides (specially shape... read more..

21 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3803

Pick a Hymn

One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever g... read more..

21 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2592

Minister Call

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child s... read more..

20 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3870

Cast Your Bread

My mom, a difficult independent, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch b... read more..

20 Sep

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5175

Asking Our Children for Forgiveness

When I returned from a trip overseas, I sensed that something was wrong between Keith (one of our twin sons) and me. So I asked him, "Keith, have I done anything that really hurt your feelings?" Insta... read more..

20 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3071

Late Night Studying

My husband, Cal, grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her ... read more..

19 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3710

Flower Switch

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace". The owner wa... read more..

19 Sep

Dr. Harold McNabb

3484

What Is It?

One of the routines in worship is our practice of saying the Lord's Prayer in unison. As you know, the Lord's prayer says, "give us this day our daily bread". That's a simple enough statement. I suppo... read more..

19 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2729

Seniors' Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99."Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs.""Then I'll have to charg... read more..

18 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3384

Super Golfball

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. "Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other ... read more..

18 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2682

Ash Request

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.""And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with yo... read more..

17 Sep

Wonders of Creation

2927

Wonders of Creation - Facts

One thing very few people do is sit down with a given amount of time and a pile of facts and think things through. The result of such an exercise is quite often a reversal in what was previously belie... read more..

17 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3792

With Friends Like That...

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" "Henry ha... read more..

17 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2669

E-mail Problem

The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to ac... read more..

16 Sep

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3933

Will Life Ever Be Normal Again?

So many people in the coastal areas of Alabama, Mississippi,and Louisiana have been removed from their homes. Most of them have lost their homes, and everything they own. In many of those cities/towns... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3799

Rhymes and Tubes

Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the bank to conduct my business rather than the drive-thru which with two children I almost exclusively use. I was si... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3551

Insurance

* A lot of life insurance policies cost a great deal of money to maintain. But look on the bright side -- when you die, you'll be rich !- - - - -* Who says that life insurance agents don't have feelin read more..

15 Sep

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3140

Stirring The Paint

I stood in the bare white room and sighed. Paint cans, trays, rollers and brushes were stacked in the middle of the floor. Every breath I took reminded me that I'd been here for a number of days, but ... read more..

15 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

11999

Be Careful Following the Crowd

Another true life story for the Funnies... A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going... read more..

15 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2749

Sugar Worry

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said."Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked."No," the caller a... read more..