2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #300

04 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2790

Ammunition Substantiation

An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics. That summer, the area had experienced an infestation of rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given o... read more..

03 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3434

16 Ways To Confuse Your Roomate

Some of these are a little odd but they would definitely spice up dorm life. 16 Ways To Confuse Your Roomate:**************************************************** 1. Sit up. Say, "time to... read more..

03 Sep

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5102

Nothing Hidden in D&X

What is partial-birth abortion? To help answer that question for the legislature, Representative Canady presented Congress with five simple line drawings. They were captioned by seven brief, precise s... read more..

03 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2733

Army Drab

My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and dressed in olive drab fatigues, he stopped off at the grocery store to pick up a few things.While in line at the che... read more..

02 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3908

Goober Diagnosis

A Goober felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examining him said, 'Well, I can't seem to find the problem, but I think it has somethingto do with alcohol.' The Goober replied, 'Well,... read more..

02 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2609

Seen This?

I had trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead and asked my husband, "Oh no, h... read more..

01 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3826

Great Eyesight

An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods." The lawyer asks Sam ag... read more..

01 Sep

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

6035

Waiting For Our Room

At the walk-in clinic I approached the reception area. With nobody ahead of me, the medical technician at the front desk listened immediately as I explained I was there to have my purple ankle looked ... read more..

01 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2750

Updated Punishment

"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD play read more..

31 Aug

Appreciation Notes

Pastor Tim

7081

I have met the most wonderful girl.

Hey Pastor Tim! How are you? I just wanted to send you a quick thank you for recomending eHarmony to me several months ago. I have met the most wonderful girl, her name is (removed for pr... read more..

31 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3757

More Church Bulletin Bloopers

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. PRAYER & FASTING CONFERENCE... read more..

When You Don't Feel Like Sharing Your Faith

31 Aug

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

6024

When You Don't Feel Like Sharing Your Faith

Sharing our faith isn't easy. I know--as a young man, I was convinced I didn't have the gift of evangelism. It was obvious. No matter how hard I tried, no one was coming to faith in Jesus Christ. Noth... read more..

31 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2908

How To Train A Cat

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."I ... read more..

30 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4390

Goober Circle

A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved unexpectedly and cut off an eighteen- wheeled trailer truck. The driver was very angry, and motioned for her to... read more..

30 Aug

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3562

Religion and Relationship

I heard a new word a while ago. At least, it was new to me. My husband and I were attending an evening worship service at a church conference. A young man stood on a stage, ready to lead a large audie... read more..

30 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

9704

Holding Hands

While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they approached, I commented on how romantic it was.He replied, "We have been holding hands when we go out in publi... read more..

29 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5435

Perspective

An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing.... read more..

Storm In Progress: Hurricanes of the Heart

29 Aug

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3833

Storm In Progress: Hurricanes of the Heart

I live in "tornado alley" in the Midwest, and while tornadoes are not funny at all, I do have a funny memory of my feisty, elderly mom climbing into a bathtub with some sort of huge pillow protection ... read more..

29 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7320

Scavenger Hunt

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. "Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carb... read more..

28 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4002

One and Only

"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are read more..

28 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3588

Some Mysteries Are Tough To Solve

For my wife's birthday (I'm not allowed to mention which one) I surprised her with roundtrip tickets to her family reunion in upper New York State. Out of courtesy to her I elected not to include myse... read more..

28 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2958

Worker Ants

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?"One c... read more..

27 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3868

Three Red Lights

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Neither could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along approaching an intersection, the stoplight was red but they just... read more..

26 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4686

Newbie Preacher

A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a graveside service at a small country cemetery. There was to be no funeral, just the committal, because the decea... read more..

25 Aug

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3857

A New Day

I'm back! It's been a few weeks since I've put out the newsletter. But, I've been busy. We had a revival at our church, and a death in my husband's family. So, I've just been taking time off, resting,... read more..

25 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4209

The Perfect Worker

From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob... read more..

25 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3276

All Purpose Excuse Form

Here is an all purpose excuse form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten yourself into. Where there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for your situation and just go wit... read more..

24 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3860

Need a Push

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time"... read more..

24 Aug

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3736

Acting Like Dodo Birds

One of my daughter's favourite cartoon movies is Ice Age. She has watched it so many times she almost knows the dialogue by heart. I must admit, it is a funny movie. Like all good cartoons, the charac... read more..

24 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7593

Hybrid Car

My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth.""Really? Wh... read more..