2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #360

11 Aug

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3383

Terrorist on the Loose!?!

No, I don't mean your kids--or mine--although there are days that either may qualify for the grand prize, I'm sure! AND I don't mean the terrorists on the streets of our cities that bomb buildings and... read more..

11 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4213

Skipping School

The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly, deciding to bunk and go to the mall with her friends waited till her ... read more..

11 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3087

Positive Start

How to start your day with a positive outlook.1. Open a new file in your PC.2. Name it "Housework."3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want ... read more..

10 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3730

Half Joking Pastor

Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the enti... read more..

Scratch the Surface and What Do You Find?

10 Aug

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3260

Scratch the Surface and What Do You Find?

The C.E.O. stares blindly out at the spectacular view from his office window. After years of conniving and manipulation he is at the helm of the company. He had great plans for his future but circumst... read more..

10 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2856

Dentist Bill

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge.""Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you s... read more..

09 Aug

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3835

Life Worth Living

You hear people moaning and groaning about what a bad life they have! They seem to never be satisfied with anything that ever comes their way. They covet what others have, or what others are doing. I ... read more..

09 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3601

Johnny's Dust

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family. "Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodi... read more..

09 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3203

Finished Chores

My parents are both busy professional people and have trouble finding time for chores and home maintenance. On weekends they each make a list of things to be done. Father's list is never completely cr... read more..

08 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4125

Cowboy and The Preacher

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowb... read more..

08 Aug

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4859

A Private Hot Line to God?

Does God talk to you personally? Would you bet your life on it? Claiming to receive personal messages from God on a regular basis places subjective experience on the same level as Scripture, Greg argu... read more..

08 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6630

Economics Exam

Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?Smiling confidently, he... read more..

07 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3790

Weird Library Reference Questions

All of these situations are real and some of them were mighty embarrassing.Enjoy! Part 1: Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels. ... read more..

07 Aug

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5082

Facing Sexual Temptation

Adultery. Common word, common occurrence in our society. Lt. Kelly Flinn narrowly avoided court-martial for adultery and insubordination. Gen. Joseph Ralston left the candidacy for the top military po... read more..

07 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3624

Refrigerator Goals

When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.I ... read more..

06 Aug

Dr. Harold McNabb

3382

The Whole In One

Recently I was officiating at a funeral where I did not know many of the family particularly well. As it was near Christmas, I decided to us the idea of Advent as a departure point. I said that Christ... read more..

06 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3711

Goober Stewardess

An airline captain was breaking in a new goober stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place fo... read more..

06 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2815

One Call

The two teenagers were arrested. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a phone call. Some time later a man entered the station and asked for them by name.The sergeant said, "I suppose yo... read more..

Alarming Discovery; Hit Me One More Time, Baby

05 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3476

Alarming Discovery; Hit Me One More Time, Baby

A man is not a man, in my opinion, unless he has adequately mastered the art of snoring. When I say mastered, I mean there is more to snoring than the mere act of making ze noise. It is an ancient art... read more..

05 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3594

Out of This World Bait

My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mother. "No, honey, he won't do for b... read more..

04 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5464

Proud Rooster

A minister had just finished an excellent dinner at the home of a congregation member when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard."That's certainly a proud-looking rooster," the minister com... read more..

03 Aug

Rev. Spence Laycock

2936

Peace

One of Christ's predictions of what would mark the end of time was the incessant cry from the world for, ?Peace, Peace!? This has come to be more than we could have ever imagined as the multiple layer... read more..

03 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3518

Goobers With Shovels

There were two guys working for the city. One would did a hole, he would dig, dig, dig, the other would come behind him and fill the hole, fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously.... read more..

03 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3284

Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.ABBOTT: Mac?COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.ABBOTT: Your ... read more..

03 Aug

Ask Pastor Tim

Pastor Tim

7945

Same Sex Marriage In Canada?

DEAR PASTOR TIM, WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON THE REPUBATED ANTI-BIBLICAL BILL THAT WAS PAST TO ALLOW REPUBATES TO MARRY? MY OPINION IS AS FOLLOWS: I AM THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED WITH CANADA AND THE FACT T read more..

03 Aug

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3987

Forgive And Forget

Is it easy to hold grudges, rather than forgiving someone? Has someone done something to you or said a harsh word that you've had trouble forgiving? I ran across an article in a magazine where two Mot... read more..

03 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3958

Even More Cute Kids

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it ... read more..

01 Aug

Dr. Harold McNabb

3586

Between The Rock and a Hard Place

In the spring of 2003 a young man named Aaron Ralston was hiking alone in the canyons of Utah when an 800 pound boulder shifted and pinned his arm to the canyon wall. He struggled for five days to fre... read more..

01 Aug

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

6974

Back Off!!!

Jessica wrote: Dear Tim, I Don't like what your sending me so BACK OFF!! You are an idoit!!!! From Jessie I replied: Dear Jessica, I've removed you from my lists. BTW, "Idoit" is spelled "idiot"... read more..

01 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3944

Memory School

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening as they have done for the past 35 years. Max, the older, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed... read more..