2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #570

28 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5615

ACTS 2:38

This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think t... read more..

28 May

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4048

Many stores have the words "Satisfaction Guaranteed" in their store policies. You buy something in their store, and if it doesn't meet your expectations, and you aren't satisfied, you can return it fo... read more..

28 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3405

Flood Prediction

Meteorological experts predicted a massive flood that would destroy the world.The Pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your maker."The president went on T... read more..

I Think I'll Drop Everything And Just Go Fishin'

27 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3675

I Think I'll Drop Everything And Just Go Fishin'

I said something last week I haven't said in years. Where it came from, I really don't know. It's funny, you're tooling along minding your own business for weeks, maybe months at a time, and then some... read more..

27 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4076

The Cowboy's New Car

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he ought as soon as he gets back" "Not Tex" said ... read more..

27 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3151

Dispatch Message

One night at McCord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence where an alarm had gone off. The fence was at the end of the base runway.When I got to the scene, I found a raccoon... read more..

26 May

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3375

Memories . . . The Corners Of My Mind

Brains...we've all got them, believe it or not--and scientists allege that we use but 10 percent of their capacity! Now I am not a mathematician like my son, but if I am ACTIVELY using 10 percent of m... read more..

26 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4195

Sorry I'm Late Mom

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into... read more..

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When…

26 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3545

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When…

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?" you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.A woman comes into the ... read more..

26 May

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2638

Latest Blog Entries

If you are a reader looking for the latest blog entries, you will find them on our new blogging system.? Just click a'subcategory in the left hand column, under the section you clicked to open this wi... read more..

26 May

Misc

2689

My Dad

I am so glad the funeral is over for my father. My family is so hard to deal with. When i was with them they acted as if my mom is the only one grieving. I don't mean anything. I do not know i... read more..

25 May

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3148

Are You Marking Time by Your Stomach?

My husband and I recently had coffee with some old friends. They are old in the sense that we have known them for a long time, but they are also old in age. They admitted they are starting to slow dow... read more..

25 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5063

Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity ... read more..

25 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2532

Hair Mission

In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the ... read more..

24 May

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3191

Confessions of a Chocoholic

I am a chocoholic. I know it, my friends know it, now YOU know it--and Choco Anonymous should be very happy with my complete confession. I've taken the first step on the road to recovery! OK, if you R... read more..

24 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4607

Inventions That Didn't Succeed

The waterproof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine screen doors A book on how to read Inflatable dart boards A dictionary index Powdered water Waterproof tea ... read more..

24 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4495

Universal Solvent

"The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents' Day and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab. "What are you working on?" he asked."A u read more..

24 May

Misc

pirate

2189

Generally Boring Blogging stuff

I have finally booked car wreckers to remove Ryan Orion from my forecourt. Just as well as the tax disc runs out this month. I wandered round St John's College this morning, surfed the internet and... read more..

23 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5208

Finding The Cat's Diary

Day 752 - My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is... read more..

23 May

Rev. Spence Laycock

3616

The Third Watch

If you've ever worked shift work in a job that goes twenty four hours a day, then you've probably worked the Third Watch. This is the third shift of the day, the four to midnight shift that wraps up a... read more..

23 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3100

Mouth Surgery

We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed."Dad," our teenager ask... read more..

23 May

Misc

pirate

2010

Bible Study

Settling down to solid Bible Study & Prayer is getting difficult. Distractions, needless tasks, time slipping by? At times I get too sure of myself and try to be God's disciple in My Strength. A... read more..

22 May

Dr. Harold McNabb

3318

No Small People

Vaclav Havel, the president of the Czech Republic says: "We live in the postmodern world, where everything is possible and almost nothing is certain."Havel is not the first to have said it, but what m... read more..

22 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5762

Growing Up

While on recess duty at the elementary school where I teach, I was talking with several second-graders about what they wanted to be when they grew up. Rhonda said that she was planning to be a nun."Bu... read more..

21 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4554

Will To Remember

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 millio... read more..

21 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4856

Small Town Justice

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain." "Just be quiet!!!" snapped the officer. "...or I'm going to... read more..

21 May

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4816

Being God's Helper

Our daughter fell on the tile in her kitchen floor and dislocated her kneecap. In addition the ligaments securing the kneecap were torn. For two weeks her only means of walking was with cumbersome cru... read more..

21 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3481

Bob Hope Quotes

Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill".ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."ON TURNING 90 "You... read more..

21 May

Misc

pirate

1987

Hey

Long time no post. Another year older ? any wiser? Thank you to Karen & Ian who emailed me in my absence. I was asked the other day, ?What is the one most important fact about your faith?? Then... read more..

20 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3860

Just The Fax, M'am

For years, I smugly prided myself as a non-fax machine person. I felt it beneath my dignity to own such a technical contraption. The quill is more my style than a computer but, being practical, I relu... read more..