2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #600

20 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4071

Seeing Eye Dog

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. When they come to a busy intersection the dog ignores the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street and leads the blind ma... read more..

20 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2837

Oversensitive Reply

I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead. "Have you seen this?" I ... read more..

19 May

Dr. Harold McNabb

3643

Be Filled With The Spirit

I did not win the Denomination Derby last year. Oh, I was out there competing. Well, not exactly competing....driving as fast as I could. I had won it the year previous and figured my car was running ... read more..

19 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4353

Actual Church Signs

Reported to be actual church signs.... 1. Free Trip to heaven. Details inside! 2. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins. 3. Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here! 4. Hav... read more..

19 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4661

Testimony Night

It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week."Whereupon her husba... read more..

18 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4899

Priest's Uniform

A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his "work uniform" went up to the priest and asked, "Why do you dress so funny?". The priest replied, "This is the uniform that I wear when I w... read more..

18 May

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4847

Forgetful?

I am hardly ever at a loss for words. But, this week, I have been late getting out the newsletter simply because I have been unable to write an article to enclose here. Many subjects have run through ... read more..

18 May

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4371

Kasey Wins At Richmond

Points leader Jimmie Johnson had a miserable night. His teammate and #2 in points, Jeff Gordon, hit the wall on lap 165 and never recovered. He finished 39th. It could have been Kurt Busch's night to ... read more..

18 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2833

Military Chat

During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different aircraft to familiarize myself with their capabilities. One day I was aboard an intelligence aircraft where each... read more..

17 May

Rev. Spence Laycock

3258

The Wonder of the Ascension

Do you remember that final verse we looked at this past Easter Sunday, when Mary Magdalene first saw the risen Christ and was told to stop clinging to Him. Jesus told her to go tell the disciples that... read more..

17 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3838

Offended Goober

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberA goober goes to a show and after sitting down, a ventriloqui... read more..

16 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3745

Things Learned From Children

Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as child-proofing your house. * If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, t... read more..

16 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4764

Washing One Another's Feet

Do you remember what Jesus said after He washed the disciples? feet? "`Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that... read more..

16 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2911

Insured Voice

A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."There is a hu... read more..

15 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4294

Where Are We?

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for l... read more..

15 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5116

10 Tips To Help Your Prayer Life

If praying does not come effortlessly for you, try these tips for making your prayer life more focused and effective. For a few hardy prayer warriors, talking with God is as easy as breathing; it ha... read more..

15 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2861

Lab Mix

This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of wat... read more..

14 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4640

Gore Flubs

We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al Gore. "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder... read more..

14 May

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3301

World Power!

Add a new i-MAC/G-5 to one new cable modem and you've got me--and millions like me--connected to an amazing world called the Internet. E-mail flies into my office from around the world; Web pages find... read more..

14 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

10845

Family Picnic

The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant was accustomed to seeing tired and sunburned occupants in the cars that pulled in to tank up. When a rusty old... read more..

13 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3958

Useful Work Phrases

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 3. Someday, we?ll look back on this, laugh nervously and cha read more..

13 May

Testimonies

Pastor Tim

8436

How a Jewish Lawyer Found Jesus

I was raised in a Conservative Jewish home. We ?kept kosher,? and for 5 years I went to Hebrew School, followed by a Bar Mitzvah. From an early age, though, I considered myself an agnostic. As a young... read more..

13 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3221

Preacher Tow

The minister's car wouldn't start and he called the garage to come and tow it in for repair. When the truck driver appeared at his house to get the car, the minister said, "I hope you'll go easy on m... read more..

12 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3799

Training Courses Now Available for Men

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop 2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge 3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding 4. Re read more..

12 May

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3195

No Other Hope

We received a phone call last week that sounded intriguing. The man was very pleasant as he told me a technician would come into our home and test our water for us, free of charge. Like many people, I... read more..

Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

12 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3491

Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

*Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?""...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it.""Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals read more..

11 May

Rev. Spence Laycock

3031

The Love That Empties Tombs

It was Friday afternoon, the crowds had returned to the city leaving the three crucified bodies a deterrent to all. Joseph of Arimathea went quickly to Pilate, and though fearful of what the Roman cou... read more..

11 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4349

Goober Puzzle

One morning this goober calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it." Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?" Th... read more..

11 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3200

Parking Concern

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?""No, I'm fine," I said, touched by her concern."Oh,... read more..

11 May

Misc

2104

He's Rollin'

Well, i am not sure if any read these, but i will type this up anyways. :) Early this morning, my fat fellow decided to heave that little body and roll from his tummy to back. May not seem bi... read more..