2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #780

19 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2821

Face Warning

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.Smiling sweetly, she said, "You know, Bobby, when I was a little girl, I was told th... read more..

18 Mar

Rev. Spence Laycock

3359

The Passion Of The Christian

Have you ever heard of the phrase 'the Passion of Christ?? Maybe you remember it from the Mel Gibson movie that had a similar title. Perhaps you've heard of the Passion Play at the Rose Bud theatre? T... read more..

18 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5321

Goober Ice Fishing

A goober wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning h... read more..

18 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3017

Football Confessions

Our assistant pastor, an avid football fan, had to hear confessions on Saturday during an important Nebraska/Notre Dame game. When one man had finished his confession, the Father asked him, "Are you ... read more..

17 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5423

Alcohol Consumption Warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containters: 1. Warnin... read more..

17 Mar

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4492

Betting Your Life

There's a picture that has been circulating on the internet. It shows two rows of big German Shepherd dogs staring at a tiny kitten walking unperturbed between them. Under the picture is the caption read more..

17 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2681

Soup Words

It was a formal banquet. The minister had just finished saying grace when a waiter spilled a bowl of steaming soup into his lap.The clergyman silently sizzled, then said in anguished tones, "Will a l... read more..

How do I get permission to use a picture on the Cleanlaugh site?

17 Mar

Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh Site

Pastor Tim

3572

How do I get permission to use a picture on the Cleanlaugh site?

The pictures I use on the CleanLaugh site are, for the most part, floating around on the net, source unknown. For that reason, I can neither give nor deny permission to use them. That deci... read more..

Nurses, Bedpans And X-Rated Hospital Gowns.

16 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

5835

Nurses, Bedpans And X-Rated Hospital Gowns.

Tuesday last I awoke from my nightly slumber with terrific pain in my chest, much like an elephant break-dancing on my chest. It was painful just to breathe, but like the trooper I am, I shrugged it o... read more..

16 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3394

Microsoft TV Dinner

Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept Microsoft rights to the TV dinner. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner ... read more..

15 Mar

Dr. Harold McNabb

3388

Opportunities In The Master's Hand

Journalist David Hajdu recently told a memorable story about Wynton Marsalis, one of the most easily recognizable jazz musicians in our day and one of the premier jazz trumpeters of all time. One nigh... read more..

15 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4653

More Signs

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts." In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fi... read more..

15 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3034

How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor

How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor~ Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and live in it for six months.~ Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.~ Repaint your ... read more..

You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When

14 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4414

You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When

You know it's time to turn your computer off and read a book when ....... 1. A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy-for a year!!!!!"2. You forgot how to work the TV remote c... read more..

14 Mar

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4384

Truth Always Comes Out

We often face things that we don't want to do, or places we don't want to go. But, our answer often tells lots about who we really are. If someone asks you to come to church, and you say, "I?ll be the... read more..

14 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2805

Cow Legs

Did you hear of the little boy who came home from kindergarten with a blue ribbon. When his mommy asked him "What is the blue ribbon for?" he proudly announced, "I won!"When pressed for details he si... read more..

13 Mar

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

6041

The Healer Is Here!

Jesus in CYBERSPACE? You'd better believe it! The same Lord who walked the shores of Galilee, who healed the sick, lifted the fallen, delivered the oppressed, walks the World Wide Web--to ... read more..

13 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4420

Pessimistic Friend

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his... read more..

13 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2675

Party Advice

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.After an hour of this, t... read more..

12 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7231

Truck-Stop Harassment

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at t... read more..

12 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4254

And How Do We Feel This Morning?

Without question, going to the hospital is teamwork from the time you arrive until you are wheeled out the front door. Everyone is working together for the common good of the patient, or at least a cr... read more..

12 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3363

Horse Talk

"Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I ain't had to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster.""NO!" said the horse, read more..

11 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4904

A Goober Wins

A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. He looks on the side of her cup and finds a peal off prize. He pulls off the tab and yells, "I WON! I WON! ... read more..

11 Mar

Dr. Harold McNabb

4584

Unbind Him and Let Him Go

How is this for a reason to party! In the Saturday, September....whoops I cut the date off, edition of the Victoria Times Colonist, I came across this story: The Headline on the story reads "Dead Man ... read more..

11 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6281

Military Time

My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band... read more..

09 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5687

Canadian University Light-Bulb Jokes

Enough here for many to laugh at themselves. CANADIAN UNIVERSITY LIGHT-BULB JOKES How many Lakehead students does it take to change a light-bulb?None---Thunder Bay doesn't have electricity. How man... read more..

09 Mar

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3991

Truly Great

I picked up a copy of a national newspaper last week, as I do now and then, to fill in the gaps in the news that television coverage leaves. As I read through the articles I thought of the Sunday Scho... read more..

09 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2961

Soup Objects

The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in an eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious."Hey," he called out to the waitress... read more..

08 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4084

Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club

Of all the people who know me, no one would say I am afflicted with worryitis. They may say other things about me, which may or may not be true, but that's another story. If you ask me, and nobody has... read more..

08 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2821

London Building

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412... read more..