2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #840

23 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7555

Cheap Perfume

After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "Tha... read more..

23 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3284

Jewelry Store Application

Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca Raton. She was seeking a qualified person to fill the recently vacant position of salesperson. Sarah, an outspok... read more..

22 Feb

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

6128

Waltrip Almost Did It Again

Anxiety and doubt plague many NASCAR drivers during SPEEDWEEKS. Lying awake at night they toss and turn wondering what trouble will befall them as the big Daytona 500 approaches. But Michael Wa... read more..

22 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4487

Kids on Marriage

Kids on marriage.... How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?******- "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." Kally, age 9 - "You got to find somebo... read more..

22 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2826

Bad Flight

While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake.Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat bel... read more..

21 Feb

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

5083

What Impression Will You Leave Behind?

We do want people to remember us when we are gone. But, what will they remember? Have we done our best to be of good character, compassionate to others, living a good life before others, a... read more..

21 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3969

One Little Square

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mum, what`s sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, ... read more..

21 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2849

Goober Release

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberOne day a goober went to a sea food restaurant and saw the ta... read more..

20 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4480

Steeple Paint

The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot day. The painter was about half-way down and, as the steeple was widening out, was taking more and more pain... read more..

20 Feb

Rev. Spence Laycock

3087

Perfectly Broken

I once had a friend named Harvey, a great big guy that worked with us in the construction and renovation of houses. Harvey was really valued because he was crazy with a s... read more..

20 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2842

Get Better Soon

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny ... read more..

19 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4339

In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It

Often a store has a sign with the warning, "You break it, you bought it." This is to keep people from carelessly handling the merchandise. I'm thinking of another sign, which should be posted all thr... read more..

19 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4104

"Not" Working

Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown, Oklahoma, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go ... read more..

19 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2996

Government Car

As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far. Staring at h... read more..

18 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3416

$100.00 Please

A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter... read more..

18 Feb

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4839

Give It Up!

The little girl clutched her play necklace, a fake to be sure, but a favorite. Her dad, having a planned surprise for his little girl, said, "I have something special for you; open your hand!"&n... read more..

17 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4174

Lemon-Aid

A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a $1000 bet that the bartender could squeeze a lemon so dry no one could get another drop out. Many people tr... read more..

17 Feb

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3517

Bringing Jesus To Life

"Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble." The woman was hunched over, her hands clasped around an imaginary ladle, as she stirred an imaginary cauldron and continued to recite read more..

17 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3755

Rich Uncle

Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancée about my rich uncle."He friend asks, "Why not?"The first man replies, "Because now she's my aunt."... read more..

17 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4277

Bubba's Friends

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba ho... read more..

16 Feb

Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis

4682

Faith and Determination

The following is supposedly a true story. Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself ... read more..

16 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3490

Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?""Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car." read more..

15 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4583

The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town t... read more..

14 Feb

Dr. Harold McNabb

3166

One Temptation is as Good as Another

A couple of days ago I arrived at the church in the morning on a beautiful sunny day. Allen Houghton arrived at almost the same time for a meeting we would both attend. "Another meeting", I thought to... read more..

14 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4268

Today I didn't Do It

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn ... read more..

14 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4228

Pilot Pride

As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a... read more..

14 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4524

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. 2. You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's... read more..

13 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3534

Romance Around The Parsonage Fireplace

There is no greater place for personal reflection than before a fireplace with a cheery fire. Since our parsonage does not have a fireplace, the Mistress of the Parsonage has improvised. She purchase... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2953

Tough Kids

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week"."Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can w... read more..

12 Feb

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3995

After My Heart

Valentine Day is upon us again . I reflect back to the time when my husband and I were dating. We started dating in March, so we missed that year's Valentine Day. And, when the next year's Valentine D... read more..