Monthly Archive

2005

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 972 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3405

Jewelry Store Application

Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca Raton. She was seeking a qualified person to fill the recently vacant position of salesperson. Sarah, an outspok... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
6265
3 min read

Waltrip Almost Did It Again

Anxiety and doubt plague many NASCAR drivers during SPEEDWEEKS.  Lying awake at night they toss and turn wondering what trouble will befall them as the big Daytona 500 approaches. But Michael Wa... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4616
3 min read

Kids on Marriage

Kids on marriage.... How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?******- "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." Kally, age 9 - "You got to find somebo... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2945

Bad Flight

While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake.Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat bel... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
5211
4 min read

What Impression Will You Leave Behind?

We do want people to remember us when we are gone. But, what will they remember?  Have we done our best to be of good character, compassionate to others, living a good life before others,  a... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4088

One Little Square

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mum, what`s sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2994

Goober Release

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberOne day a goober went to a sea food restaurant and saw the ta... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4610

Steeple Paint

The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot day.  The painter was about half-way down and, as the steeple was widening out, was taking more and more pain... read more..

Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
3201
9 min read

Perfectly Broken

I once had a friend named Harvey, a great big guy that worked with us in the construction and renovation of houses.   Harvey    was really valued because he was crazy with a s... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2953

Get Better Soon

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny ... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
4485
5 min read

In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It

Often a store has a sign with the warning, "You break it, you bought it." This is to keep people from carelessly handling the merchandise. I'm thinking of another sign, which should be posted all thr... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4239
2 min read

"Not" Working

Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown, Oklahoma, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs.  So, I want to go ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3118

Government Car

As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far. Staring at h... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3539

$100.00 Please

A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.  Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
4967
3 min read

Give It Up!

The little girl clutched her play necklace, a fake to be sure, but a favorite.  Her dad, having a planned surprise for his little girl, said, "I have something special for you; open your hand!"&n... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4291

Lemon-Aid

A local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a $1000 bet that the bartender could squeeze a lemon so dry no one could get another drop out.  Many people tr... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3647
3 min read

Bringing Jesus To Life

"Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble." The woman was hunched over, her hands clasped around an imaginary ladle, as she stirred an imaginary cauldron and continued to recite read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3869

Rich Uncle

Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancée about my rich uncle."He friend asks, "Why not?"The first man replies, "Because now she's my aunt."... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4402
2 min read

Bubba's Friends

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know.  Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba ho... read more..

Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis
Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis
4824
16 min read

Faith and Determination

The following is supposedly a true story. Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3599

Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?""Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car." read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4696

The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town t... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3283
7 min read

One Temptation is as Good as Another

A couple of days ago I arrived at the church in the morning on a beautiful sunny day. Allen Houghton arrived at almost the same time for a meeting we would both attend. "Another meeting", I thought to... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4398
2 min read

Today I didn't Do It

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house.  His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4342

Pilot Pride

As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4642
2 min read

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1.  You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. 2.  You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3653
4 min read

Romance Around The Parsonage Fireplace

There is no greater place for personal reflection than before a fireplace with a cheery fire. Since our parsonage does not have a fireplace, the Mistress of the Parsonage has improvised. She purchase... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3071

Tough Kids

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week"."Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can w... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
4110
3 min read

After My Heart

Valentine Day is upon us again . I reflect back to the time when my husband and I were dating. We started dating in March, so we missed that year's Valentine Day. And, when the next year's Valentine D... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2895

Work Show and Tell

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and tell that day had been parents' occupations. The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, "You might ... read more..