2005 - Monthly Archive - Results from #870

12 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2778

Work Show and Tell

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and tell that day had been parents' occupations. The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, "You might ... read more..

You Light Up My Life...or Don?t Darken my Door!?!

11 Feb

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3754

You Light Up My Life...or Don?t Darken my Door!?!

The title says it all--it's either all or nothing for the Valentine lovers or ex-lovers preparing to celebrate - or un-celebrate Valentine's Day on its way to the USA. You either catch the fever and k... read more..

11 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3021

Country Tunes

My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed ... read more..

10 Feb

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4327

A Little Imagination

What do you imagine? A better job, a better house, more money, perhaps a vacation in the South Pacific? We all let our imagination run away with us from time to time. Some of our greatest inventions a... read more..

10 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

13588

Jericho Walls

The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him and said, "Pastor, this morning we're studying Joshua.""That's wonderful," said the new pastor, "let's see wha... read more..

08 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4951

Waking Up Mad

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get out of this train in Mannheim, but I... read more..

08 Feb

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4755

My Cloud of Witnesses

One of my heroes is someone I've never met. Perhaps you've heard of her--Gladys Aylward. Her story has been told in a popular biography, a film starring Ingrid Bergman, and a BBC "This Is Your Life" f... read more..

08 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2747

Sermon Sub

A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He entrusted his new assistant with filling the pulpit. The Pastor's wife stayed home. When he returned, the ministe... read more..

07 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5861

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients. Remove blocks and toy cars from table. Grease pan, crack nuts. Measure two cups flour. Remove b... read more..

07 Feb

Dr. Harold McNabb

4091

Rockin? Goliath

We all know the story of David and Goliath, and even if we don't know the real story, we have same version of it that most folks do. David vs. Goliath has become a by-word, symbolic of a one... read more..

07 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3133

Unbreakable

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberA man walks into a glass shop, interested in buying an expens... read more..

06 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7545

Diary of A House Husband

"Diary of A House Husband" This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you. 1).&n read more..

06 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3368

School Curlers

ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like t... read more..

05 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4350

Because I Am A Guy

Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able... read more..

05 Feb

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3093

Time And Space

Now I'm not a rocket scientist and have no clue to the inner workings of science--I leave that to my husband, an organic chemistry professor--who can have your brain spinning as he lectures on the eno... read more..

05 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2841

Fried Eggs

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.” Careful .. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh Good Grief! You're cooking too many at onc... read more..

05 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4138

A Faux Pas Is A Mistake In A Tuxedo

Everyone who is anybody has a hobby or at least entertains the idea. Hobbies range from sports to crafts to reading and even traveling. Some hobbies don't make sense to me like collecting dead insects... read more..

04 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2794

Warning Sign

Vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in campgrounds, visitors' centers and rest areas advising people not to feed the bears, how to avoid bears, what t... read more..

03 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3958

Navajo Wisdom

About 1969 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with ... read more..

03 Feb

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4146

Starting Over

Our ten year-old granddaughter, Mary Kathryn, received a diary for her birthday. It was a gift from her best friend. She seemed so grown-up when she would take time to write down the events of the day... read more..

03 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2658

Australian Football

I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never believed it until I witnessed a game first hand.In the first half, I saw 3 broken arms, half a dozen sprains, a... read more..

02 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4149

Why Don't I see You?

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled h... read more..

02 Feb

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3333

Always Home

?I just want to go home.? The young woman's voice quavered with frustration, anger and fear. Her companion smiled. ?I am home,? she said. ?Home is inside me.? The two women were among thousands groun... read more..

02 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2944

Stuck Between Floors

Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the elevators. A manager got stuck between floors and, after some door banging, finally attracted attention. His name ... read more..

01 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3943

Elderly Couple Sharing

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamb... read more..

01 Feb

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4693

Call to Evangelize America

Is it time to re-evangelize America?In a Time magazine cover story on "Kids, Sex & Values," a high school teacher in New York City said teenagers' lives are "empty, and their view of the future fa... read more..

01 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3150

Heavy Housework

Smith goes to see his supervisor. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.""We'r... read more..

31 Jan

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4408

The Intolerance of Tolerance

Probably no concept has more currency in our politically correct culture than the notion of tolerance. Unfortunately, one of America's noblest virtues has been so distorted it's become a vice. read more..

31 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4380

The Truth About Tools

The Truth about Tools HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. M... read more..

31 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4007

Dining Out

The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table; Mr. & Mrs. Smith and their little son. Jonathan.She says, "Jonathan, what would you like?"He says, "I'll have a grilled cheese s... read more..