December 2006 - Monthly Archive

29 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3253

Maranatha

David Jeremiah told of this one conference where a pastor was talking to the group and said "If nothing else, I want you to remember this one word; maranatha. It means 'The Lord comes'. So when you le... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4473

Goober Mirror

Two goobers, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up.She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person l... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2858

Correct Response

While in an instrument flight-training class at Reese Air Force Base, Texas, I dozed off and, to my dismay, was awakened by a question posed by my instructor.My buddy whispered the correct response to... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4095

For Sale Sign

A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front.After briskly introducing herself and he... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2759

Need a Pen?

A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her bill. She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients did when they had a check to write."Do you need... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4182

Wrong Guard

It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised on television about six times a day. I was still living at home with my parents saving money for colle... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2727

Blockbuster Surprise

Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When a young man stepped out the door, a group of officers pounced, cuffing him and hustling him into a squad car.S... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4050

Hasty Departure

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2607

Parts Search

I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his ancient Maserati sports car. He had just driven it from Ohio, and as he pulled into my driveway, the car broke do... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4136

Ravine Golfing

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.Ben sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.B... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2475

Post Card Help

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My ar... read more..

23 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4282

Great Writing

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will... read more..

23 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3211

Coast Guard Lingo

When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only did I have to get accustomed to his short haircut, but also to his new sailor lingo. I eventually got used to h... read more..

23 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

4001

Grace Appeared

The very nature of God's grace is why He has revealed His grace to us. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060723.mp3{/audio}... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3929

Forest Fire Fly By

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hi... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2868

Pawn Return

In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and asked about getting some. I found out that it was easy to get to a pawn shop by calling a taxi.I got a taxi (th... read more..

21 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4608

Let's Play House

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Billy, want to play house?"He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"Sally... read more..

21 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2854

Insufficient Brain Activity

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with "IBA" or insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.Don't bother takin... read more..

21 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4174

Another Candle On The Birthday Cake

Today, (July 21) is my birthday. As birthdays go, mine seem to go pretty fast. It used to be that my birthday came every year. Now, every time I turn around it’s my birthday. I’m tempte... read more..

American Family At Its Finest: The Annual Vacation

20 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4173

American Family At Its Finest: The Annual Vacation

The one great event that brings people together is the annual family vacation. It brings them together so they viciously argue about where they want to go. At least it seems to be a common experience ... read more..

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4974

The Pledge

Grandpa Cartnell was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared."I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. ... read more..

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5896

Patriotic Father

On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father pointing out a well-known building to his son. "You see that triangular-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pent... read more..

18 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3998

Dog Review

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into ... read more..

17 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4555

Noah Glue

Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time.A couple of boys ... read more..

16 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3349

Leaving Without Lying

Too often when people leave a church they do so amidst a cloud of miscommunication and well intentioned (but hurtful) lies. Christians and entire Church families are called to an emotionally hea... read more..

15 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3812

General Motors Help Line

General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did....---------------------- Hel... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4036

Reversal of Fortune

Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2684

104 Year Best

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." ... read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3746

Signs You Need A New Lawyer

1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, the read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2874

New Diet

Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our indi... read more..