December 2006 - Monthly Archive

12 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3885

Golf Beginner

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.The pro showed him th... read more..

12 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2586

A Primer For Accordion Beginners

Get an accordion. The cheaper the better because they all sound the same.Do not tell anyone what you have done. It will only cause them to worry.They will find out soon enough.Take the accordion out o... read more..

11 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4000

Goober Olympic Questions

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to D... read more..

11 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3426

Totally Out of Shape

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrat... read more..

11 Jul

Totally Tim

Pastor Tim

8465

Ask Juan

Juan Ruiz is not only a good friend of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt, he is also one of net's most tenacious and knowledgeable computer tech guys. If you've got a computer question, go to Ju read more..

11 Jul

Misc

Teresa hauber

2237

Busy family days ..

Well, Long time since I posted anything...I went into the old blog network and copied all the posts I could find and have them stored in my documents..I didn't want to loose them all I guess I sho... read more..

10 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3327

Tycoon Banter

A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most oil.The Alaskan Oil Tycoon said, "Listen, there is so much oil in Alaska that I could buy enough gold to build a ... read more..

09 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4349

Disappearing Dinosaurs

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiti... read more..

09 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2703

Gender Request

After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery room with my wife. It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, "I've got the head now; just a... read more..

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 2

09 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3267

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 2

Wanting to love others as Jesus loved us (the Incarnation) is easy - doing it is a bit more complicated. However, if we practice and balance three dynamics in our attempts to love others incarna... read more..

08 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4901

Wake Up Call

One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said ... read more..

07 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

14790

Forgetfulness

While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old woman unfortunately left her glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were back on the hig... read more..

07 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4363

Tired and Thirsty

Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.The law student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have coffee."The English student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have l... read more..

06 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4531

Cat Sale

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.He knows that the saucer is extremely old ... read more..

06 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3872

Wheat Exports

Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?Smiling confidently, he... read more..

05 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4101

Pole Contest

A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers.The next day, two groups of workers showed up - a crew of five skilled workers and a crew of five goobers.The company could not decid... read more..

05 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4010

Modern Potty Training

Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little brother: Like this?Big brother: Yeah.Little brother: Now what?Big brother: Hit "ENTER."Little brother: "ENTER"... read more..

04 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4401

Check The Mirror

Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast.He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player. ... read more..

04 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3508

Good Old Days

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular. "When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 orang... read more..

03 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4173

No. 5 Bus

A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!"The woman, wanting to... read more..

03 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2900

Punishment Withheld

Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?One Student: "Because George still had the axe... read more..

02 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5185

Goober Eye Pain

A goober went to the doctor complaining, "Doctor every time I drink tea my eye hurts!"After examining him, the doctor advised him, "Before drinking your tea, remove the spoon from your ... read more..

02 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4096

Swahili Gasp

A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger was supposed to dash in, collapse, and gasp out a vital message in Swahili. The company even found someone who k... read more..

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 1

02 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3208

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 1

Jesus' coming to earth as man (the incarnation) is our model for loving others well. Of course, before we can follow it as a model, we must know just what the incarnation was. Listen On... read more..

01 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2712

Next Question

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking."Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"... read more..

30 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5006

New Employee Travel Policy

Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:LODGING:All employees are encoura... read more..

30 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2959

Happy Birthday Elsie

I play pinochle regularly with seven other women, most of whom are 70 or older. Recently we celebrated the birthday of our oldest member by taking her out to lunch. When the waitress came to take our ... read more..

29 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4266

Enemies in the West

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we faring?" asks the king."Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging... read more..

29 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2697

Dependents

A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he had. "Sixteen," he replied.The preparer asked, "Would you mind repeating that?"The man replied, "Not if I can h... read more..

28 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3905

The Tie

A man goes into a restaurant and the waitress stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a tie to enter".So the man goes back to his car and looks around, but there's no necktie to be found.... read more..