December 2006 - Monthly Archive

28 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4938

Comedians' Convention

Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out numbers--"56!" "923!" "307!" Each time a number was called, the others would laugh and laugh. Finally he asked ... read more..

28 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3252

Sunday Complaints

After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this morning."The father commented, "The sermon was too long."Their 7-year-old daughter added, "You've got to admit it was a p... read more..

27 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4524

Hi Tech Watch

A man is at Grand Central Station waiting for his train which leaves at 6:00 PM but he has forgotten his watch. So he looks for someone to ask the time.He spots this guy walking past carrying 2 ... read more..

27 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3993

Malice In ?I Wonder Who I Am? Land

For many years I maintained confidence in my personal identity. I knew exactly who I was and was quite comfortable in my skin. Although, I must confess my skin used to fit me better than it does these... read more..

27 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3810

Finish Paving

While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour ... read more..

26 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4382

No Matter What

Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies... "No matter what!" On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive and ... read more..

26 Jan

Wonders of Creation

4270

Wonders of Creation - Rubber

When you buy a new packet of rubber bands they are usually dry, stretchy and you expect them to last a few weeks, even out in the weather, but after some time the rubber changes. It loses its stretch ... read more..

26 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2889

Business Exhaustion

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired,... read more..

25 Jan

Rev. Spence Laycock

3779

Bound To Glory

What was the most sacred place that you have ever been in? The kind of place where awe and reverence for God were experienced, a place that was set apart from all other places, a holy place. You know,... read more..

25 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4241

Understanding Your Paycheck

Gross pay: $1222.02 Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89 County Tax City Tax Rural Tax Back Tax6.11 12.22 4.44 1.11 Front Tax Side Tax Up Tax Down Tax1.16 1.61 2.22 ... read more..

25 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2785

Game Question

The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to h... read more..

24 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4133

Heads Up

The mass of bodies looks almost like a large boulder sitting in the midst of the white Antarctic landscape, but as the camera moves in it becomes obvious that it is a living thing ? a huddle of pengui... read more..

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4206

Backwoods Delivery

Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed th... read more..

Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3198

Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating crea read more..

22 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4679

Pop Rocks

Cassie was taking two of her Grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before.&n... read more..

22 Jan

Joshua Goodling

5309

A Life That Is True

One Christmas, William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, wanted to send a message of encouragement to his staff and volunteers. He chose a message of one word - "Others!" The meaning of life is su... read more..

22 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3050

Help Yourself Hear God

Can you tell the difference between God's voice and the voice of your mind saying what it best pictures God would probably speak to you? That's an important thing to know before you ca... read more..

21 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

5159

Why Me, Lord?

In the mid 1930's an unlikely horse became a racing sensation. Its name was Sea biscuit and was the perfect hero for the depression era when so many people saw their dreams end up on the scrap pile. S... read more..

21 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3629

Accident and Interview

Thorn was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large ... read more..

21 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2551

Computer Career

Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My position had been reclassified to fall into a new area outside of the I/S staff. One day, my new supervisor ... read more..

21 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3937

Normally We Do ? But Not Today

For a Christmas present, our children pulled their resources and gave the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly a marvelous little vacation in the eastern hills of Tennessee. Upon arrival... read more..

20 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4710

Airline Announcements

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or repor... read more..

20 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2791

Market Conditions

The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line.""This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish o... read more..

19 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4201

Does Your Dog Bite?

A man was standing on the curb reading a newspaper, A great big dog was curled up at his feet. Another man came up and inquired, "Does your dog bite?" No replied the man with the paper The othe... read more..

19 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2675

Golf Discovery

A wife was getting tired of her husband golfing every Saturday, so she decided to go with him to see what the attraction was.His first drive of the day went into the rough, then his second shot bounc... read more..

18 Jan

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3734

Time and Space

Now I'm not a rocket scientist and have no clue to the inner workings of science--I leave that to my husband, an organic chemistry professor--who can have your brain spinning as he lectures on the eno... read more..

18 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3341

Interesting thoughts

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. T... read more..

18 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3065

What's it Take?

"What do you have to do to become a doctor?" my six-year-old granddaughter once asked.Her dad, seeing an opportunity, said, "You have to do extremely well in school, take a lot of math and science, ge read more..

17 Jan

Wonders of Creation

4143

Wonders of Creation - Small Organism

There are many examples in Nature, of large organisms needing very small organisms to survive. Whales need krill, for example; yucca plants need the tiny grubs of yucca moths. Some spiny trees need an... read more..

17 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3971

Frugal - to save

Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she asked her father w... read more..