January 2006 - Monthly Archive

08 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5250

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when... read more..

08 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3251

Living in the Present

The primary focus of our?identity and relationship with God should not be based on what God has done in our past, but rather on what God is speaking to us today. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060... read more..

07 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

4015

Indulgences

I know that Lent is supposed to be the season of repentance and applying more discipline to our lifestyle, but New Years brings its spate of resolutions. Here are some that a friend of mine in Illinoi... read more..

07 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3735

Who Gets the Dog?

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hur... read more..

07 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2527

Second Try

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I sugg... read more..

Who Made The First New Year's Resolution?

06 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4027

Who Made The First New Year's Resolution?

What is it that makes people stay up until the wee hours of the morning one night out of the year? My primary objective in life is not to see how late I can stay up, but getting up in the morning. If ... read more..

06 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3849

No Wonder English is So Hard to Learn

No wonder English is so hard to learn. We polish the Polish furniture.He could lead if he would get the lead out.A farm can produce produce.The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.The soldier de... read more..

06 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2981

Restaurant Service

The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television.The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of ... read more..

05 Jan

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4074

Where in the World Are You?

Remember Waldo--the horn-rimmed glasses guy who sold books, puzzles and games as we searched the world for him? Fun for kids of all ages, to be sure! But this isn't that kind of a fun search. For when... read more..

05 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4150

Chicken on the Go (Pun Warning)

What do call a chicken on the go? Poultry in motion... read more..

04 Jan

Wonders of Creation

4357

Wonders of Creation - Butterflies in Amber

Here is how an evolutionist reports a discovery: ?Ancient butterflies exquisitely preserved in amber hint that the winged insects evolved far earlier than previously thought. They may even have flutte... read more..

04 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4641

Rules for Writers

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.5. Avoid clich read more..

04 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5590

Eye Contact

A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and bl... read more..

03 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4420

Three Rs for 2006

My husband preached a sermon from Malachi last Sunday. It was a message for the New Year that gave us all a theme to think on as we launch into 2006. The theme consists of three admonitions (it was a ... read more..

03 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3894

Goober with a Pager

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller... read more..

03 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3017

Haircut ID

I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself, and I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy o... read more..

02 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3816

Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that peopl... read more..

02 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

4032

It's About Time

By now if you are connected by email to the internet you will have received at least five Happy New Year greeting cards. That's not counting all the personal greetings if you were with other people la... read more..

02 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2831

Paper Walls

As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working.Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had ... read more..

01 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3481

Puzzled Border Guard

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "... read more..

01 Jan

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4286

Ringing In The New Year

Right now, all I want to do is go to bed! I've not felt all that good this week, but had been getting better the past two days. But, over did it today, running around with my husband all day. Then, ca... read more..

01 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2781

Birthday-Anniversary

A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday/anniversary card.' The clerk replied, 'We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?'The man said... read more..