April 2006 - Monthly Archive

30 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4628

Tip Revenge

A man finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, an... read more..

Emotional Health - Look Beneath the Surface

30 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3399

Emotional Health - Look Beneath the Surface

If we are ever going to find emotional health and achieve spiritual maturity, we are going to have to begin by looking beneath the surface of our life. But, is it safe to do that? Is the p... read more..

29 Apr

Rev. Spence Laycock

5689

Good News

It was during the dark winter of 1864, Petersburg , Virginia , the Confederate army of Robert E. Lee faced the Union divisions of General Ulysses S. Grant. The war was now three and a half years old a... read more..

29 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4361

Mom's Time Out

My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her."Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.Not e... read more..

29 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2738

Car Privileges

David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get th... read more..

Hey, Mama, Hey, World...He Still Hears and Answers Prayer!

28 Apr

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4594

Hey, Mama, Hey, World...He Still Hears and Answers Prayer!

"Mama"--a universal word that fits us all--whether you're a mom or not, you HAVE a mom and you HAVE a need - so sit up and listen to a contemporary testimony to God's wonderful power read more..

28 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3953

What Is That?

A young man who left his home in Texas at an early age, finally purchased his own ranch in Oklahoma. He invited his father out for a visit, and took him on a tour of the property.Driving along i... read more..

28 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2938

Lost Ball

My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18 holes.Using a machete to clear thick brush in an area I was mapping, I came upon a golf club that an irate play... read more..

28 Apr

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3705

It Became An All-Night Serenade Crusade

I’m at the age when sleep, especially during the night, is a very fragile commodity. The least little noise arouses my body to full consciousness. I say my body, because I’m not sure my br... read more..

27 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4687

Late For Sunday School

A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him th... read more..

27 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3171

Mule Solution

A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-nin... read more..

26 Apr

Rev. Spence Laycock

5499

Location, Location, Location

It would seem that the more important the message the greater the means of advertising it. When the Second World War ended, allied bombers dropped millions upon millions of leaflets into cities, jungl... read more..

26 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4442

Old Red

Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80 is not "old." Red explained:"Old" is when your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anym... read more..

26 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2664

Parking Lot Stay

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at a Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.She was stretched, full-out, on the back ... read more..

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4547

Bed Size

Come Rain or Come Shine

We were on our way to the reception when we saw them. The wedding party was gathered by a small bridge in a local park, milling around while the photographer got set up. The men looked dapper in read more..

25 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3356

Anti-Burglar Signs

The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus.... read more..

24 Apr

Wonders of Creation

4926

Modern is Better?

Modern is better - or so some people think, yet the crafts, techniques and technologies of the past continue to surface as superior to our so-called 'modern' improvements on them. The Viking s... read more..

24 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3150

Dynamite Bumps

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberTwo goobers are racing down a bumpy back road in a pretty bea... read more..

24 Apr

Dr. Harold McNabb

4703

Peace

Fear is a crippling emotion.When Hannibal attacked Rome, he brought African elephants to accompany his infantry. He hoped the sight of the monsters would spread fear and panic through the Roman legion... read more..

23 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4496

Pull Over

"Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars.She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examin read more..

23 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3118

God and Your Feelings

Peter Scazzero writes in his book The Emotionally Healthy Church that the area of emotions is a too long overlooked area when it comes to discipling followers of Jesus. He emphasi... read more..

22 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4584

Queen Size

A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "Q... read more..

22 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3274

A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to your nose and blow hard into the paper.If the sheet turns green, you need to see a doctor.If it turns blue, see ... read more..

Beware The Ides Of April ? The Tax Man Cometh

21 Apr

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3980

Beware The Ides Of April ? The Tax Man Cometh

This year curiously enough, Easter and Income Tax Day came the same weekend. One represents a cross borne for our sins and the other represents a cross we continue to bear for someone else’s sin... read more..

21 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

8869

Ungrateful Son-In-Law

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care... read more..

21 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3250

Away Messages

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in y... read more..

20 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4205

Call To Mom

A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." ... read more..

20 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2733

The Batchelor

I realized that my six-year-old grandson had been watching too many reality TV shows the day we attended a cousin's wedding.As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the synago... read more..

20 Apr

Dr. Harold McNabb

4715

Into Your Hands

The last words we hear Jesus speak from the cross are "It is finished. Into your hands I commit my spirit." And he gave up his spirit and died.Jesus had been able to say that the work God ha... read more..