April 2006 - Monthly Archive - Results from #30

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3885

School Daze

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I kno... read more..

19 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3132

Funeral Music

At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would like to enter the service to.One family asked to enter to, "Love me Tender."Well the day of the funeral arrived ... read more..

18 Apr

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4100

Getting Ready

It seems the word anticipation is an appropriate one for this time of year. The snow is melting rapidly and the bushes are showing that faint red tint that tells us life is pouring back into them afte... read more..

18 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6402

Remember The Elderly

The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady wrote.... Dear Pastor, Don't ever forget about us old folks. We are worth a fortune. We have Silver in... read more..

18 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3189

Patio Problem

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.He stacked the blocks agains... read more..

17 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3990

What Mom Really Wants

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash) 9. To have my 14 year-old da... read more..

17 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2691

Interpreting Hotel Brochures

Old world charm ............. No bathTropical .................... RainyMajestic setting ............ A long way from townOptions galore .............. Nothing is included in the itinerarySecluded hid... read more..

16 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3813

Golfing Seniors

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "But you're seventy-five years old, J read more..

15 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4339

The Difference Between Men and Women

This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pr... read more..

15 Apr

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

7728

Top Step To Hell

In response to this item on the PearlyGates list: If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,"DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. T... read more..

15 Apr

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

7553

I Hate Jesus

Brenden wrote: "Look man I hate Jesus Christ. He is a f***ing g*y b***ard and I never liked him so send me no more emails about the b***ard." Pastor Tim replied: "Really? When did you meet him and ... read more..

14 Apr

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3917

Abridged Version

I just showed a video to my grade four class called The Easter Story. It was a cartoon version, abridged and modified for a young audience. I almost showed them a clip from the Jesus video which is mu... read more..

14 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4095

What Am I?

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, an... read more..

14 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2519

Expecting

"How does Jamie like being pregnant?" Danny asked his friend Ryan."Oh, she's not pregnant," Ryan replied, "she's expecting.""What's the difference?" Danny pressed."Well, Ryan explained, "She's expecti read more..

13 Apr

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4581

T.G.I.F. (Easter version)

"T.G.I.F.," under normal circumstances, means "Thank God, it's Friday!" - we smile, relax and look forward to a much-needed weekend break. Well, today is Friday, but it is no & read more..

13 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4195

Dough Boy Drive By

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.Several people notic... read more..

12 Apr

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3924

It Was Lights Out At The Old Ballgame

Someone yelling, "Let’s play ball," officially announces spring. Springtime and baseball seem to go together, as if God created springtime just for the national pastime.Something about... read more..

12 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

9353

Jonah Test

A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School classroom between Sunday School and worship, waiting for her parents to come and pick her up for "big church." Th... read more..

12 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5025

Q & A

Q. Why did Freud cross the road?A. Hmm, and when did you first notice this interest in roads?... read more..

What in the world was Jesus thinking about!?

11 Apr

Dr. Harold McNabb

5250

What in the world was Jesus thinking about!?

The next day the great crowd that had come for the Feast heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is he w... read more..

11 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4252

Read Carefully

My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice. He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the bab... read more..

11 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

9754

Free Will

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at e... read more..

10 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4561

How To Interpret Employment Ads

"Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train you. "Casual Work Atmosphere" - We don't pay enough to expe read more..

10 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3233

Not Likely

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking."Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"... read more..

09 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4222

Dish Shopping

When visiting her family in Los Angeles, a woman decided to explore a trendy shopping area. After window-shopping, she entered a store with unique table displays. Each table was laid out... read more..

09 Apr

Joshua Goodling

4647

They Just Don't Get It!

Recently in the news, I've seen several stories about people saying stuff like; "New Found Manuscript Shed's Light On Jesus Life". In one such news stories, the guy who had just publ... read more..

08 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4112

Quick Thinking Clerk

There is a story about a new clerk in a supermarket. A customer asked him if she could buy half a grapefruit. Not knowing what to do, he excused himself to ask the manager. "Some nut out ... read more..

08 Apr

Cybersalt Shaker

Pastor Tim

7268

More Than Sixty Dollars

My family and I watch TV the old fashion way - for free. Yes, thanks to the marvel of decades old hardware known as an antenna and rotor atop an old ship's mast, we enjoy 10 or 11 channels of free... read more..

08 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2711

Parking Solution

A pastor of a two-church parish had to drive every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the 9:30 service at one church to the 11 o'clock at the other. He would often find the parking lot of the second ch... read more..

07 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4368

Melanie is Watching

One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at me for an explanation. I said "I did that by accident." She replied "I ... read more..