July 2006 - Monthly Archive

31 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4466

Getting To Heaven

The pastor was talking to a group of young children about believing in Jesus and going to heaven.At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?""Heaven!" they all pipe... read more..

30 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4402

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.When the enraged bear charged tow... read more..

30 Jul

Misc

Randall brown

1970

A few thoughts and thinkings

Perhaps you've seen people in the church pew next to you, and wondered why they are there. Perhaps for you its quicker to judge that person than it is to see the face of Christ in them. Walking th... read more..

30 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3960

Just Say No

The Grace of God teaches us to say, "No". Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060730.mp3{/audio}... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4547

More Incorrect

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were as... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3272

Maranatha

David Jeremiah told of this one conference where a pastor was talking to the group and said "If nothing else, I want you to remember this one word; maranatha. It means 'The Lord comes'. So when you le... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4490

Goober Mirror

Two goobers, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up.She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person l... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2876

Correct Response

While in an instrument flight-training class at Reese Air Force Base, Texas, I dozed off and, to my dismay, was awakened by a question posed by my instructor.My buddy whispered the correct response to... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4126

For Sale Sign

A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front.After briskly introducing herself and he... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2775

Need a Pen?

A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her bill. She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients did when they had a check to write."Do you need... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4202

Wrong Guard

It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised on television about six times a day. I was still living at home with my parents saving money for colle... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2741

Blockbuster Surprise

Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When a young man stepped out the door, a group of officers pounced, cuffing him and hustling him into a squad car.S... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4067

Hasty Departure

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2621

Parts Search

I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his ancient Maserati sports car. He had just driven it from Ohio, and as he pulled into my driveway, the car broke do... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4151

Ravine Golfing

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.Ben sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.B... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2500

Post Card Help

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My ar... read more..

23 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4294

Great Writing

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will... read more..

23 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3226

Coast Guard Lingo

When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only did I have to get accustomed to his short haircut, but also to his new sailor lingo. I eventually got used to h... read more..

23 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

4015

Grace Appeared

The very nature of God's grace is why He has revealed His grace to us. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060723.mp3{/audio}... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3944

Forest Fire Fly By

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hi... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2886

Pawn Return

In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and asked about getting some. I found out that it was easy to get to a pawn shop by calling a taxi.I got a taxi (th... read more..

21 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4622

Let's Play House

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Billy, want to play house?"He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"Sally... read more..

21 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2872

Insufficient Brain Activity

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with "IBA" or insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.Don't bother takin... read more..

21 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4194

Another Candle On The Birthday Cake

Today, (July 21) is my birthday. As birthdays go, mine seem to go pretty fast. It used to be that my birthday came every year. Now, every time I turn around it’s my birthday. I’m tempte... read more..

American Family At Its Finest: The Annual Vacation

20 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4188

American Family At Its Finest: The Annual Vacation

The one great event that brings people together is the annual family vacation. It brings them together so they viciously argue about where they want to go. At least it seems to be a common experience ... read more..

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5001

The Pledge

Grandpa Cartnell was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared."I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. ... read more..

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5916

Patriotic Father

On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father pointing out a well-known building to his son. "You see that triangular-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pent... read more..

18 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4013

Dog Review

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into ... read more..

17 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4575

Noah Glue

Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time.A couple of boys ... read more..

16 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3364

Leaving Without Lying

Too often when people leave a church they do so amidst a cloud of miscommunication and well intentioned (but hurtful) lies. Christians and entire Church families are called to an emotionally hea... read more..