July 2006 - Monthly Archive - Results from #30

15 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3812

General Motors Help Line

General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did....---------------------- Hel... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4035

Reversal of Fortune

Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2684

104 Year Best

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure." ... read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3746

Signs You Need A New Lawyer

1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, the read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2874

New Diet

Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our indi... read more..

12 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3882

Golf Beginner

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.The pro showed him th... read more..

12 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2583

A Primer For Accordion Beginners

Get an accordion. The cheaper the better because they all sound the same.Do not tell anyone what you have done. It will only cause them to worry.They will find out soon enough.Take the accordion out o... read more..

11 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3995

Goober Olympic Questions

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to D... read more..

11 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3421

Totally Out of Shape

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrat... read more..

11 Jul

Totally Tim

Pastor Tim

8460

Ask Juan

Juan Ruiz is not only a good friend of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt, he is also one of net's most tenacious and knowledgeable computer tech guys. If you've got a computer question, go to Ju read more..

11 Jul

Misc

Teresa hauber

2232

Busy family days ..

Well, Long time since I posted anything...I went into the old blog network and copied all the posts I could find and have them stored in my documents..I didn't want to loose them all I guess I sho... read more..

10 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3323

Tycoon Banter

A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most oil.The Alaskan Oil Tycoon said, "Listen, there is so much oil in Alaska that I could buy enough gold to build a ... read more..

09 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4346

Disappearing Dinosaurs

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiti... read more..

09 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2699

Gender Request

After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery room with my wife. It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, "I've got the head now; just a... read more..

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 2

09 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3265

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 2

Wanting to love others as Jesus loved us (the Incarnation) is easy - doing it is a bit more complicated. However, if we practice and balance three dynamics in our attempts to love others incarna... read more..

08 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4897

Wake Up Call

One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said ... read more..

07 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

14786

Forgetfulness

While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old woman unfortunately left her glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were back on the hig... read more..

07 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4358

Tired and Thirsty

Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.The law student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have coffee."The English student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have l... read more..

06 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4528

Cat Sale

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.He knows that the saucer is extremely old ... read more..

06 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3869

Wheat Exports

Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?Smiling confidently, he... read more..

05 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4097

Pole Contest

A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers.The next day, two groups of workers showed up - a crew of five skilled workers and a crew of five goobers.The company could not decid... read more..

05 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4007

Modern Potty Training

Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little brother: Like this?Big brother: Yeah.Little brother: Now what?Big brother: Hit "ENTER."Little brother: "ENTER"... read more..

04 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4396

Check The Mirror

Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast.He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player. ... read more..

04 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3505

Good Old Days

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular. "When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 orang... read more..

03 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4168

No. 5 Bus

A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!"The woman, wanting to... read more..

03 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2896

Punishment Withheld

Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?One Student: "Because George still had the axe... read more..

02 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5182

Goober Eye Pain

A goober went to the doctor complaining, "Doctor every time I drink tea my eye hurts!"After examining him, the doctor advised him, "Before drinking your tea, remove the spoon from your ... read more..

02 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4093

Swahili Gasp

A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger was supposed to dash in, collapse, and gasp out a vital message in Swahili. The company even found someone who k... read more..

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 1

02 Jul

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3205

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 1

Jesus' coming to earth as man (the incarnation) is our model for loving others well. Of course, before we can follow it as a model, we must know just what the incarnation was. Listen On... read more..

01 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2709

Next Question

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking."Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"... read more..