December 2006 - Monthly Archive

07 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2803

You've Got Bottle

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottl... read more..

06 Mar

Wonders of Creation

4954

Wonders of Creation - DNA Differences

A heading to an article in the New Scientist magazine reads, 'dNA shows how different we are.? It went on to say, ?Humans and their closest relatives, chimpanzees, may be more different than geneticis... read more..

06 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4995

Busy Doctors

Redecorating Help

A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms wer... read more..

05 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4632

Mom's Clarinet

My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it."Oh," said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.""How come?" I asked."Well," he answere... read more..

05 Mar

Rev. Spence Laycock

3983

Setting Your Mind on Things Above

In the early 1400's Spain controlled both sides of the narrowest part of the Strait of Gibraltar , where the two land masses of Africa and Europe almost meet. The two large and rocky land points on ei... read more..

05 Mar

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3344

Unnecessary Offense

Offending others by how you share the Good News of Jesus is not the same as their being offended by the Good News of Jesus.Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060305.mp3{/audio}... read more..

04 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4446

Bible Confusion

The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first little children's Bible, in an easy-to-read translation, when she was very young. Now, a decade or so later, the... read more..

04 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2791

Roughhousing

A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know you love Granger, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed ... read more..

03 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3826

Dead-to-the-World Man Walking

One morning this week, I woke up with a black eye. How I got it still baffles me. I have my suspicions, of course, but some things are better left to themselves no matter how lonely they may get. In g... read more..

03 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4198

Goober Coffee Maker

The newlywed Goober went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received as a wedding gift. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the tim... read more..

03 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2968

Things Overheard on Noah's Ark

10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"9. "Hey, there are more than two flies in here!"8. "Wasn't someone supposed to put two shovels on board?"7. "OK, who's the wise-guy who brou read more..

02 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4074

Amazed dentist

"Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good Grief!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen -- the biggest cavity I've ever seen." read more..

02 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2812

Refined Shopping

A very refined young man comes to a small food shop and sees fruit. "Give me two kilograms of oranges and wrap every orange up in a separate piece of paper, please," he says to the saleswoman. She doe... read more..

01 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4499

Hair Mission

In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the... read more..

28 Feb

Wonders of Creation

4411

Wonders of Creation - Soft Dinosaur Tissue

In the last week of March 2005 the BBC reported that several dinosaur experts had discovered samples of what appeared to be soft tissues from a tyrannosaurus rex fossil bone. The US researchers told S... read more..

28 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4639

Golf desire

Detailed instructions on managing your subscription are included after the body of this e-mail. Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which the golfer had hit numerous fat shots... read more..

28 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3178

Why Are You Here?

A man dressed as napoleon went to see a psychiatrist at the urging of his wife. "What's your problem?" the doctor asked?"I have no problem," the man replied. "I'm one of the most famous people in the ... read more..

27 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3723

Signs You are Broke

SIGNS YOU ARE BROKE 1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.3. You're formulating a plan to rob the fo... read more..

27 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3130

House Calls

A pipe burst in a doctor's house, and he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.The doctor exc... read more..

26 Feb

Rev. Spence Laycock

4050

The Grip of Grace

Water, it's an amazing thing. It makes up about 70% of our planet and about the same percentage in our bodies. It's needed for life, it cools us down, it cleans us, it prepares food and takes away was... read more..

26 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4071

The End of Speeding?

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated dr... read more..

26 Feb

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3491

Who Should Evangelize?

This message answers a number of questions ? one of which is ?Is it everyone?s responsibility to evangelize or just a gifted few?? The answer, and this whole message, will challenge the status quo vie... read more..

25 Feb

Dr. Harold McNabb

4835

Listen To Him

If you don't know by now, Canada is poised to become the North American Saudi Arabia. More specifically, the province of Alberta will take on that role with unimaginable wealth to be generated. We kno... read more..

25 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4763

Nervous Bride

Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous about her honeymoon.The people in the church wanted to encourage her by sending a telegram with a verse of Scri... read more..

25 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2805

Babysitting Reference

We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college education. One day she came home with five applications, and later that evening we read them. Under "Previous Employm... read more..

24 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4154

A Page From Betty Crocker's Cookbook

Recently, while sitting in my chair drinking the last of my breakfast coffee, a thought staggered into my mind. I must confess most thoughts are quite lonely once they enter my mind, but this one had ... read more..

24 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2920

Coffee, No Cream

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberMy Goober sister is a waitress at a hotel. One morning a cust... read more..

23 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4242

Hans Olaffsen's Laundry

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry." "Hans O... read more..

22 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3948

Medical Term Needed

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English w... read more..