December 2006 - Monthly Archive

16 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4340

Screaming patient

A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older d... read more..

16 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3179

Boat Rental

A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost fifty dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee. "Hoot mon," he said, "in Scotland it wouldna ha been mo... read more..

15 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4417

Grandpa's Day Out

Grandpa's Day Out A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park... read more..

15 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

4677

Jesus Says, "Follow Me"

On Pentecost island in Vanuatu, there used to be a coming of age ritual similar to bungee jumping. In fact this is where bungee jumping originated. The elders built a tower from bamboo poles; and then... read more..

15 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3326

The Listening Church

Listen to this message to see how a church can hear God's voice and learn what His will is for them both as individuals and as a congregation. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060115.... read more..

Early To Bed, Early To Rise, Makes A Man Want To Cry

14 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

5722

Early To Bed, Early To Rise, Makes A Man Want To Cry

Any real accomplishment in life begins with a well-laid plan. My plans for Thursday were so well laid I had difficulty getting out of bed. However, this did not in the least bit worry me. For the las read more..

14 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5273

Hmmmm... Ham Sandwich

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation... read more..

13 Jan

Joshua Goodling

5196

Taking Christ Out Of Christianity

I've become quite fed up with a lot of people who claim to be Christians lately. It seems they want to force "Christianity" upon everyone in the world, and yet at the same time they themselves don't w... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5642

Here Kitty

Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to pee late one night.He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw!&... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3028

Apology Letter

Lisa, my co-worker at the travel agency, needed to send a letter of apology to a customer whose trip was a complete fiasco from start to finish. I reminded her of a similar situation a year earlier an... read more..

12 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4091

Goober Medical Terms

enign.......................What you be after you be eight.Artery.........................The study of paintings.Bacteria.....................Back door to cafeteria.Barium.......................What d... read more..

11 Jan

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

7062

Peace At Last

West Berlin, December, 1966. Cold and unknown, I strolled through the wintery city, bundled in my overcoat, determined to reach the border. Standing at the edge of West Berlin, I shuddered, pondering ... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3943

Art Collector

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He knows that the saucer is extremely ol... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2690

License Picture

A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's license in silence for a moment, he said, "You know something? This is one of the finest, most realistic pictu... read more..

10 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3846

Potential Company Mergers

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Kee... read more..

10 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

5012

Tarnished Mirrors

It was very early on a Saturday morning and I could hear my sister, Leisha, already rattling around in the kitchen, making coffee. By the time I got downstairs she was pouring the hot liquid into a th... read more..

10 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2700

Bad Day Sign

You know it's going to be a bad day when your teenager knocks on your bedroom door first thing in the morning and says,"Today is Nerd Day at school, Pop. Can I borrow some of your clothes?"... read more..

09 Jan

Wonders of Creation

3846

Wonders of Creation - Life Instead of Euthanasia

The movie 'million Dollar Baby? is, in many ways, a wonderful piece of drama, well acted, and well presented, and also a tribute to the skills of its director, but its message is dismal. A female boxe... read more..

09 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4563

Sisters at the Superbowl

Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the Superbowl. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would pro... read more..

09 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2840

Job Search Jargon

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...COMPETITIVE SALARY:We ... read more..

08 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5267

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when... read more..

08 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3265

Living in the Present

The primary focus of our?identity and relationship with God should not be based on what God has done in our past, but rather on what God is speaking to us today. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20060... read more..

07 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

4039

Indulgences

I know that Lent is supposed to be the season of repentance and applying more discipline to our lifestyle, but New Years brings its spate of resolutions. Here are some that a friend of mine in Illinoi... read more..

07 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3750

Who Gets the Dog?

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hur... read more..

07 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2542

Second Try

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I sugg... read more..

Who Made The First New Year's Resolution?

06 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4052

Who Made The First New Year's Resolution?

What is it that makes people stay up until the wee hours of the morning one night out of the year? My primary objective in life is not to see how late I can stay up, but getting up in the morning. If ... read more..

06 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3872

No Wonder English is So Hard to Learn

No wonder English is so hard to learn. We polish the Polish furniture.He could lead if he would get the lead out.A farm can produce produce.The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.The soldier de... read more..

06 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3002

Restaurant Service

The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television.The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of ... read more..

05 Jan

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4095

Where in the World Are You?

Remember Waldo--the horn-rimmed glasses guy who sold books, puzzles and games as we searched the world for him? Fun for kids of all ages, to be sure! But this isn't that kind of a fun search. For when... read more..

05 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4168

Chicken on the Go (Pun Warning)

What do call a chicken on the go? Poultry in motion... read more..