2007 - Monthly Archive - Results from #420

07 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4927

That's It

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on ... read more..

07 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3028

There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the peephole and asked, "Who's there?""Parcel post, ma'am. I have a package that needs a signature.""Where's the package?"... read more..

07 May

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2571

Computer Monster

Apparently, before the cookie monster was the cookie monster he was the computer monster. Here's an enjoyable bit of vintage film that was used in an IBM training film called "Coffee read more..

07 May

Shirley Choat

2121

Good Morning 05-07

"For who has despised the day of small things?" - Zechariah 4:10 In a workshop of an artist was a poor lad whose task it was to clean the floor and tidy the room after the day&# read more..

06 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5258

Sermon Interpretation

One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. Her daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilts." Needless to say... read more..

06 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2847

Funeral Weather

As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband. When the graveside service had no more than... read more..

06 May

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3336

Spiritual Gifts and Classes

A spiritual gift is a divinely given ability to perform the role God has placed us in the church to do. Does having a certain gift make one better than someone with a different gift? Are read more..

05 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4710

Translated Golf

An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening drive out of bounds onto the beach, so he tees another one up and smacks it right down the middl read more..

05 May

Shirley Choat

2154

Good Morning 05-06

FIFTH SUNDAY OF EASTER Acts 13:44-52 Rev. 21:1-5 John 13:31-35* Psalm 148 Of all the holidays we celebrate, Valentine's Day is most likely to inspire thought of love, but t read more..

05 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2651

Hunting Pairs

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Joey?" the others as... read more..

05 May

Shirley Choat

2076

Good Morning 05-05

"You are the salt of the earth." - Matthew 5:13 Many of you might ask yourself: "How far may I go in my opinions, enjoyments and habits of the world without making a shipwr read more..

04 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5350

Turtle Ears

Tradition here in the office is to keep a notepad with the punch lines from the various jokes that pass through. I was flipping pages and found "Turtles have such tiny ears!" read more..

04 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2700

Photo Apology

Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity portraits. One wealthy woman complained that Van Bergen's photo wasn't nearly as good as the first one she had taken."You must forgive me." the ph... read more..

04 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3175

Another Mother's Day Card Quandary

Another year has gone by and I find myself facing the same quandary I faced last year. I was hoping somehow this year would be different but, alas, it is not. Many people complain about how fast thing... read more..

04 May

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3969

That's Just Life

As I waited in the line-up at the post office the other day I overheard a conversation that is quite common for this area of the world. One person asked after the other and the response was, & read more..

04 May

Shirley Choat

1970

Good Morning 05-04

"Then the Spirit said unto Philip: Go near, and join thyself to this chariot." - Acts 8:29 We all know that God moves in mysterious ways. Which Apostle would have imagined that read more..

03 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4858

Hurry and Sign Up

Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for Old Man Minch a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all the read more..

02 May

Shirley Choat

2467

Good Morning 05-03

"From a child thou has known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus." -2 Timothy 3:14-16 The writer of this read more..

02 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5651

Utensil Rejection

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.&nb read more..

02 May

Shirley Choat

2219

Good Morning 05-02

"When I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a Light unto me." - Micah 7:8 It is estimated that there are over twelve million blind people in the world. We are grateful for the pr read more..

01 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5625

Mechanic Rate

A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is ridiculous!" she said, "charging me five hundred dollars to grind the valves and put in new piston rings... read more..

01 May

Misc

author

2045

Springing...

April was interesting..storms and "bugs" that made us sick.. Praise God we are all better now..(I hope.) I have been trying to decide if it is time to take down the sheltering screens for the Bunnys... read more..

01 May

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

1999

TGV

I don't speak French very well, but my guess is these people are excited about how fast this train is going. It goes to prove that language is no barrier for railfans, speed aficionados, o read more..

01 May

Shirley Choat

1971

Good Morning 05-01

"Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal and every mouth which has not kissed him." - 1 Kings 19:18 The prophet Elijah was a lo read more..

30 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5772

Computer T-Shirt Slogans

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) Buy ... read more..

30 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3975

Haircut

Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all that hair.Susie: I didn't get it all cut.... read more..

30 Apr

Shirley Choat

2282

Good Morning 04-30

"Behold upon the mountains the feet of him that bringeth good things, that published peace. O Judah, keep thy solemn feasts, perform thy vows." - Nahum 1:15 A mighty army is en read more..

29 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5217

Happy Anniversary

The other day while driving home, after beng delayed at my office, I suddenly saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror. The police officer pulled me over for speeding. I explained to him tha... read more..

29 Apr

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3375

Don't Buy or Sell Jesus Insurance

Jesus is more than an insurance policy for the soul or a product to inflate the church's grwoth statistics. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20070429.mp3{/audio} read more..

28 Apr

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

19117

King of The Jungle

The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was king of the jungle. He was so confident that he bypassed the smal... read more..