2007 - Monthly Archive - Results from #690

03 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

19043

Freedom

The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the thing... read more..

02 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6549

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There ... read more..

01 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5512

Parrot Strings

A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot... read more..

31 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5757

Street Name

"I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator. "There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,&quo read more..

You and Your Boss: The Subtle Differences

29 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5087

You and Your Boss: The Subtle Differences

If you take a long time, you're slow. But if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. If you don't do it, you're lazy. But if your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ... read more..

28 Jan

Shirley Choat

2382

Good Morning 01-29

"For you are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them." - 2 Cor. 6:11-18 There was a lady who was asked who was the most honored guest she had ever e read more..

28 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4634

Essay Woe

CleanLaugh list member Richard Killey sent me this real life school note dilemma in response to the above list of actual school excuse notes. He wrote, Pastor Tim, Maybe you can use this one ... read more..

28 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3210

Washing Settings

One day, a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?""It depen... read more..

28 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3976

Deal with What's Wrong

Let's face it - some pretty awful things have been done in the name of Jesus. It is true that not everyone who does things in the name of Jesus is really following Him (so of course all tr read more..

27 Jan

Shirley Choat

2175

Good Morning 01-28

THE FOURTH SUNDAY AFTER EPIPHANY "This is the day the LORD hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Jer. 1:4-19 1 Cor. 12: 3, 13:13 Luke 4:20-32 Psalm 36 read more..

27 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3156

Baby Growth

Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our fourth arrived, he was much larger.After delivery, the medical team began testing and measuring my new son. The la... read more..

27 Jan

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2535

Personal Blimp

I have never understood the thinking of people who want to make cars that fly. Of course, I understand the coolness of making a car fly, just not the desire to make a world where cars fly. We read more..

26 Jan

Shirley Choat

2253

Good Morning 01-27

"I have learned, in whatever state I am, in this to be content." - Phil. 4:10-23 When Paul wrote the words of this text, he was deprived of almost everything, except contentment read more..

26 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4390

Strange Allergy

Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the paediatrician. I was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions to my son. When he asked Casey, &quo... read more..

26 Jan

Shirley Choat

2361

Good Morning 01-26

"...there came a man of God out of Judah...and he cried against the alter..and he gave a sign." - 1 Kings 13:1-10 There are thousands of anonymous people in the Scriptures that read more..

26 Jan

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2371

Snowflakes

I live in the most temperate part of Canada. We hardly get any snow in a normal winter. However, from time to time we do get an amount that is exceptional for our area. This loss o read more..

25 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4765

Lawyer News

"I have good news and bad news," the defence attorney told his client. "First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crim read more..

25 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3037

Needle Manners

While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot."NO! NO! N... read more..

25 Jan

Shirley Choat

Pastor Tim

2365

Good Morning 01-25

"My brethren, as believers in our glorious LORD Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism." - James 2:1 I imagine that most people would hate to be accused of racial bias. They li read more..

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4468

Top Ten Best Golf Caddie Remarks

#10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" #9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 read more..

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4129

Cherokee Language

A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children about his tribe and its traditions, then shared with them this fun fact: "There are no swear words in the Chero... read more..

24 Jan

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2129

Toots Thielemans

When I was a kid I wanted to learn to play the guitar. Logically, my mom signed me up for guitar lessons. When the day of my first guitar lesson arrived, the teacher showed up with . . . read more..

23 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4809

Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

1. Blaming your gas on me.... Not Funny 2. Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog you goober. 3. Taking me for a walk then not letting me check stuff out. Exa read more..

23 Jan

Shirley Choat

2191

Good Morning 01-24

".... pray for each other so that you may be healed." - James 5:16 This is to honor the Doctors we know. (you know who you are) Before each operation I know there are Do read more..

23 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2874

Cross Country Move

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?""We'll drive slowly so that one car... read more..

22 Jan

Shirley Choat

2311

Good Morning 01-23

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." - 2 Timothy 4:7 All of us would like to have our loved ones reach a ripe old age, but that really read more..

22 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5152

Survivalist Training

A Scoutmaster was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in the Alaskan wilderness. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost alone in the woods?... read more..

22 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3099

I'm Not Sure

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure.""Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."... read more..

22 Jan

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2056

Lightness Demonstrations

A big thank-you to Norma M. (from my church) who saw this page, thought of me and sent its address to me to feature. I have to admit, though, that any time someone from my church thinks read more..

22 Jan

Shirley Choat

2497

Good Morning 01-22

"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:19 We can trust that God will always meet our needs. Whatever we need on read more..