Monthly Archive

"The human brain is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's time to turn off the sound." - Pat Elphinstone read more..

"It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich." - Alan Alda read more..

"By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates read more..

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." - Charlotte Whitton read more..

"On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window." - Dan Spencer read more..

"Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life." - Herbert Henry Asquith read more..

"I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back." - Zsa Zsa Gabor read more..

"Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings." read more..

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement." - Mark Twain read more..

"Never let your sense of morals keep you from doing what is right." read more..

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain read more..

My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim." - Paula Poundstone... read more..

"If you woke up breathing, congratulations - you have another chance!" read more..

"Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce." read more..

"Humor is just another defense against the universe." - Mel Brooks read more..

"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." read more..

"Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity." - Frank Leahy read more..

"Destiny is something not to be desired and not to be avoided." - Dag Hammarskjold, former head of the United Nations read more..

"Accept good advice gracefully--as long as it doesn't interfere with what you intended to do in the first place." -- Gene Brown read more..

"We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors.... but they all have to learn to live in the same box." read more..

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools." read more..

"Evil is not something superhuman, it's something less than human." - Agatha Christie read more..

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph." - Shirley Temple read more..

"Leave Christ in Christmas - Don't Xmas Him out." read more..

"He that but looketh on a plate of ham and egg to lust after it, hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart." read more..

"I asked this one girl out and she said, 'You got a friend?' I said 'Yes.' She said, 'Then go out with him'" - Dom Irrera read more..

"If you have knowledge let others light their candles at it." - Thomas Fuller read more..

"To do great important tasks, two things are necessary: a plan and not quite enough time." read more..

"When it comes to worrying or painting a picture, know when to stop." read more..

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." -- Robert Frost read more..