Monthly Archive

"Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance" read more..

"Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat." read more..

"Vacation is a two-week-long experience where money and time race against each other until both are totally exhausted." read more..

"Visa is everywhere you want to be except out of debt." read more..

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." read more..

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what can you believe?"- Bullwinkle J. Moose read more..

"We've come so far that community service is considered punishment." read more..

"What do you call an accordionist with a beeper? An optimist." read more..

"What makes airport security think they can find something in my wife's purse when she can't?" read more..

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."~Mark Twain read more..

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."~Charlotte Whitton read more..

"What's another word for synonym?" read more..

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."~Henny Youngman read more..

"What's the use of having ignorance if you can't show it?"- Lou Costello read more..

"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl." read more..

"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns." read more..

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship."- Dick Gregory read more..

"When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there - serving them drinks." read more..

"When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me - according to the letter."- Emo Philips read more..

"When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty." read more..

"When the space shuttle finally lands, everybody wear ape suits.... pass it on!" read more..

"When will all the rhetorical questions end?" read more..

"When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas." read more..

"When you're over 50 you can still do all the things you did when you were 17 if you don't mind making an idiot of yourself." read more..

"Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR" - what's my mother going to do." read more..

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."- Jerry Seinfeld read more..

"Who says nothing is impossible - I've been doing nothing for years." read more..

"Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never worked in customer service." read more..

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."~Gene Hill read more..

"Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?" read more..