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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
1842
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1375
One-liner #0391
"You are not a kid anymore when you are obsessed with the thermostat."- Jeff Foxworthy
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1419
One-liner #0392
"You are not a kid anymore when you are obsessed with the thermostat."~Jeff Foxworthy
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1411
One-liner #0393
"You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1444
One-liner #0394
"You can train a cat to do anything it wants to do."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1572
One-liner #0395
"You know the kids are growing up when your daughter begins to put on lipstick and your son starts to wipe it off."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1482
One-liner #0396
"You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1454
One-liner #0397
"You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1456
One-liner #0398
"You've got to spend money to lose money."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1513
One-liner #0399
"You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1511
One-liner #0400
“A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1503
One-liner #0401
“A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1604
One-liner #0402
“A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops and on my desk I have a work station . . .”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1538
One-liner #0403
“A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 10 kids but doesn't really care.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1550
One-liner #0404
“A key ring is a gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1498
One-liner #0405
“A penny saved is a government oversight.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1617
One-liner #0406
“A person who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1517
One-liner #0407
“A watched clock never boils.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1544
One-liner #0408
“A woman's work is never done. So why bother?”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1535
One-liner #0409
“All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1549
One-liner #0410
“Allowance is what you pay your kids to live with you.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1611
One-liner #0411
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have - the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1514
One-liner #0412
“Anuther grate mind ruened bi thu educashin sistym.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1457
One-liner #0413
“As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1612
One-liner #0414
“As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1462
One-liner #0415
“As soon as I get some grip on reality, I'm going to choke it.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1535
One-liner #0416
“Ask me about my vow of silence.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1734
One-liner #0417
“Be different: conform.”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1527
One-liner #0418
“Before you criticize someone, make sure you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes!”
...
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1631
One-liner #0419
“Being vague is just as bad as that other thing.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1529
One-liner #0420
“Birds of a feather flock together and aim for your car.”
...
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