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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
1842
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1558
One-liner #0421
“Birthdays are good for you ... the more you have the longer you live.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1512
One-liner #0422
“Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1575
One-liner #0423
“Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1593
One-liner #0424
“Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1585
One-liner #0425
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1576
One-liner #0426
“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1581
One-liner #0427
“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1479
One-liner #0428
“Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1546
One-liner #0429
“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1601
One-liner #0430
“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1550
One-liner #0431
“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1599
One-liner #0432
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1662
One-liner #0433
“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1632
One-liner #0434
“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1586
One-liner #0435
“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1829
One-liner #0436
“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”
...
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1302
One-liner #0437
“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1362
One-liner #0438
“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1351
One-liner #0439
“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1381
One-liner #0440
“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1641
One-liner #0441
“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1537
One-liner #0442
“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1546
One-liner #0443
“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1765
One-liner #0444
“Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there...”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1350
One-liner #0445
“He's a fine broth of a boy, too bad some of his noodles are missing.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1433
One-liner #0446
“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1396
One-liner #0447
“How can the world end in 2012 when I have yogurt that expires in 2013?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1498
One-liner #0448
“How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1641
One-liner #0449
“I am Popeye of Borg; prepare to be askimilgrated.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1540
One-liner #0450
“I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”
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