Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1842 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1558

One-liner #0421

“Birthdays are good for you ... the more you have the longer you live.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1512

One-liner #0422

“Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1575

One-liner #0423

“Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1593

One-liner #0424

“Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1585

One-liner #0425

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1576

One-liner #0426

“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1581

One-liner #0427

“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1479

One-liner #0428

“Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1546

One-liner #0429

“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1601

One-liner #0430

“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1550

One-liner #0431

“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1599

One-liner #0432

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1662

One-liner #0433

“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1632

One-liner #0434

“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1586

One-liner #0435

“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1829

One-liner #0436

“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1302

One-liner #0437

“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1362

One-liner #0438

“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1351

One-liner #0439

“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1381

One-liner #0440

“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1641

One-liner #0441

“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1537

One-liner #0442

“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1546

One-liner #0443

“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1765

One-liner #0444

“Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there...”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1350

One-liner #0445

“He's a fine broth of a boy, too bad some of his noodles are missing.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1433

One-liner #0446

“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1396

One-liner #0447

“How can the world end in 2012 when I have yogurt that expires in 2013?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1498

One-liner #0448

“How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1641

One-liner #0449

“I am Popeye of Borg; prepare to be askimilgrated.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1540

One-liner #0450

“I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”... read more..