Monthly Archive

“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”... read more..

“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”... read more..

“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”... read more..

“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”... read more..

“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”... read more..

“Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there...”... read more..

“He's a fine broth of a boy, too bad some of his noodles are missing.”... read more..

“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”... read more..

“How can the world end in 2012 when I have yogurt that expires in 2013?”... read more..

“How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”... read more..

“I am Popeye of Borg; prepare to be askimilgrated.”... read more..

“I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”... read more..

“I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and their size and temperatures and all that, but what really gets me is how they find out what their names are!”... read more..

“I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.”... read more..

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”~Will Rogers... read more..

“I doubt, therefore I might be.”... read more..

“I feel sorry for the guy who has to play the world's smallest violin - everybody just thinks he's being sarcastic.”... read more..

“I hope I live to be as old as my jokes.”... read more..

“I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging - it'll be called You-Twit-Face.”... read more..

“I looked at my Christmas tree today and sure enough, I couldn’t see any forests..”... read more..

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”- Bernard Manning... read more..

“I smile because I have no idea what's going on.”... read more..

“I told a girl she drew her eyebrows to high – she looked surprised.”... read more..

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.”... read more..

“I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.”... read more..

“I wish the chemists who successfully removed the lead from gasoline would try the same with our politicians.”... read more..

“I’d work out, but I’m still trying to perfect my ‘before’ picture.”... read more..

“I’ve decided to stop beating around the bush; I'm going to move on to the ornamental shrubbery.”... read more..

“I'd gladly participate in any experiment to test the effect of sudden wealth on an individual.”... read more..

“If a line is the shortest distance between two points, why does waiting in line take so long?”... read more..