Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1842 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1305

One-liner #0481

“In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's going on and this person must be fired.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1365

One-liner #0482

“Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1407

One-liner #0483

“Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1444

One-liner #0484

“It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1310

One-liner #0485

“It must be tough going through life with a short - hey look, there goes a butterfly!”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1343

One-liner #0486

“It was once said that if you took all of the people who fell asleep in church and laid them end-to-end they would be more comfortable.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1290

One-liner #0487

“Keyboard not detected - press F1 to continue.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1329

One-liner #0488

“Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1294

One-liner #0489

“Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1270

One-liner #0490

“Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1302

One-liner #0491

“Millions who long for immortality don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1367

One-liner #0492

“My body may be present, but my mind has already teed off.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1356

One-liner #0493

“My doctor asked me if I'd thought about losing some weight and I told him I'd thought about it for 20 years.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1393

One-liner #0494

“My husband says I never listen to him; at least I think that's what he said.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1377

One-liner #0495

“My mind contains many good ideas, but it is not always easy to squeeze one out.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1407

One-liner #0496

“My money says that the guy who wrote "I Believe I Can Fly" has never actually tried it.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1328

One-liner #0497

“My reality check bounced.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1326

One-liner #0498

“My Uncle Mort was a REAL salesman -- he made a living selling wealthy Eskimo's igloos with fire escapes!”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1387

One-liner #0499

“Not only am I a master of suspense, but I . . .”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1302

One-liner #0500

“Once over the hill, you pick up speed.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1408

One-liner #0501

“One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1493

One-liner #0502

“Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1436

One-liner #0503

“Parents of teenagers know why animals eat their young.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1449

One-liner #0504

“Pobody is nerfect!”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1359

One-liner #0505

“Punctual people have nothing better to do.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1416

One-liner #0506

“Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1345

One-liner #0507

“Remember, heck is reserved for those who don't give a dang.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1419

One-liner #0508

“Save time . . . see it my way.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1368

One-liner #0509

“Self-esteem-boosting tip: Whenever you receive mail addressed to "resident," just write a big "P" in front of that to make yourself feel more important.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1366

One-liner #0510

“She had her face lifted, but it turned out there was one just like it underneath.”... read more..