Monthly Archive

A watched clock never boils.... read more..

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it.- Buddy Hackett... read more..

At pilot's training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."... read more..

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.... read more..

Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!... read more..

Beware of buying anything when the manuals are bigger than the equipment.... read more..

Called my stockbroker this morning and asked him what I should be buying and he said, "Canned goods and ammunition."... read more..

Calories are delicious.... read more..

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?... read more..

Cats are smarter than dogs - you can't get eight cats to pull a sled thru snow.... read more..

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.... read more..

Christmas is weird- what other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?... read more..

Cliches are a dime a dozen.... read more..

Cliches are a dime a dozen.... read more..

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.... read more..

Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."... read more..

Death to fanatics!... read more..

Do you think chickens find a rubber human funny?... read more..

Doctors can be frustrating - you wait 6 weeks for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."... read more..

Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.... read more..

Don't fix the blame - fix the problem.... read more..

Don't tell God how big your problems are - tell your problems how big your God is.... read more..

Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say 'Don't trust anyone over 30.'... read more..

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.... read more..

Don't wear your glasses on a blind date - you'll look better, and your date will too.... read more..

Employment application blanks always ask 'Who is to be notified in case of an emergency' and I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"... read more..

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?... read more..

For others who may not know this: When the preacher says, You may now kiss the bride, he's only speaking to the groom.- David Gunter... read more..

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.... read more..

FREE ONE DOLLAR BILLS! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling - limit 1 per order.... read more..