Monthly Archive

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about seven years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two ... read more..

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took th... read more..

There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her six-year-old son and finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?" she asks."I've just figured out how to tie my shoes.""Well, honey, that's wonderfu... read more..

The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized h... read more..

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Car... read more..

The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity.... read more..

Sometimes friends have to tell you things you might not like to hear, but need to. If you are one of those people who like to forward every e-mail you get, please repeat the following ... 1) I will N... read more..

Scientists have discovered an incredible fact: If an article of clothing is allowed to hang uninterrupted in a closet throughout just one holiday season, it will shrink at least two sizes.... read more..

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. "I teach math there,"... read more..

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."... read more..

My wife works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of her co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.One day the fuel crew decided to put things in perspective for t... read more..

My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." Weeks later, as the sty... read more..

My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That aft... read more..

My husband, Lawrence, had offered to give the toast at the wedding of his longtime friend Theo. They had shared many happy, and foolish incidents, and as the day approached, there was much speculation... read more..

My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was awa... read more..

My best lesson in child psychology came when I saw our five-year-old, Steven, roughly jerking our toy poodle's leash. Suddenly his fuming father appeared and asked, "Do you want to tell me how sorry y... read more..

Morris was invited to a party but unfortunately, during the evening, he lost his wallet.Morris, not being of the shy kind, stood on a chair and shouted, "Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I've just lost... read more..

Irv and Sol, are walking down the street when Sol turns to Irv and says, "Irv, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all of tha... read more..

Imagine yourself walking along The High street of life and each of the shop fronts has something to entice you in: The Materialism shop offers you all the creature comforts you could ever want, but t... read more..

I'm dyslexic, and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I re... read more..

I was at the drug store to pick up my prescription. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. It was unclear as to who was next.When we got to the front of the ... read more..

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller-- guaranteed to work."I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.... read more..

I heard a story years ago which, I hope, will bring a lot of comfort to those who are taunted with the "if you had more faith..." issue. I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pasto... read more..

I asked God to take away my habit.God said, "No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up."I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.God said, "No. His spirit is whole, his body... read more..

Having survived my first driving lesson, I emerged from the car to come face to face with a woman standing on the pavement. "A bit nerve-wracking, was it?" she asked."More than that," I laughed, "My i... read more..

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's Illustration.Five years after my wife, Bridgid, and I were married, we received... read more..

Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possib... read more..

From the Scottish Daily Record 2-Dec-01.Some bus fare dodgers in the UK who, thinking they were getting away with avoiding bus fares by using substitute coins in the fare machine, were giving away a t... read more..

Four-year-old Little Johnny asked, "Mummy, where do babies come from? "The stork, dear." replied Johnny's Mom. "Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing our house?" Asked Little Johnny. Johnny's mo... read more..

Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can be aggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with an enormous bag. The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, but... read more..